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Cool Running ; NYU - What intrigues you?


tbvirus 2 / 3  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
Essay Question: What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

The film Cool Running is a real story based on a Jamaican bobsled team, which challenged themselves to a winter Olympic game. Though it is a comedy film, there are meaningful messages.

It is hard to imagine people training for a winter sport, bobsled in Africa, but they made it to a reality. Hence, the film reveals that as long as there is passion, the combination of leadership, empathy with others, cooperation and true friendship between members for a goal, anyone can have the miracle to convert the impossible situation to the possible.

Whenever I am frustrated with my status of studying at a small school and living in a small community, I try to motivate myself to use the elements in the film to overcome the disadvantages of limited environment. For me, by showing myself as a president of student council, challenging myself to be the first model United Nations chairperson in my school and as a bandleader organizing shows in and outside of the school I am able to defeat the drawbacks I face.

The ending of this film gave me a strong impression because they were not afraid of failures, but instead they stood up to accomplish their goals again. Cool Running made me feel fascinated to enter the big world with confidence and not to be afraid of impossible situations or failures.

Please criticize the essay. Tell me if it's not clear or haven't answered to the question properly.
I SINCERELY need HELP with grammar corrections...!! Also I would really appreciate if you would change some words that are needs to be changed to fancy words.

Thank you all!
achen187 5 / 10 1  
Dec 26, 2012   #2
You said that they were a Jamaican bobsled team.. why are they training in Africa?

Anyways, its pretty good but don't make it sound like you were held back by being at a small school. You make it seem like your situation was impossible, which I am sure it was not. Focus more on your achievements rather than the constraints you faced.


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