any review would be helpful. thanks :)
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)
"Coolio?" My Hippy physics teacher, Mr. Kirb, inquired as he finished explaining the engineering project that he had assigned for the trimester.
"A rube what?" I thought.
I later discovered that I would be designing a multi-step machine to perform a simple task; it was known as a Rube Goldberg Machine. "Ugh!" I thought to myself, "Why does he have to assign these ridiculous projects? No one actually puts any effort into these things anyway."
It was halfway through the third trimester of my junior year, and the last thing that I wanted to do at the time was design some cheesy machine for my wacky physics teacher. Little did I know that this assignment would help me to decide what I wanted to do with my life.
Although, originally, I was not interested in the task, I realized that if I were to hope to obtain a decent grade on the project, I would need to put a significant amount of time into it. I immediately began to research Rube Goldberg machines, and what I found was remarkable. Dozens of 10-minute YouTube videos displaying complicated machines built out of everyday object that spiraled through houses, even neighborhoods; I was in awe. These images sent me into a creative whirlwind that I had never experienced before. I began to wonder: What could I construct with an infinite amount of resources? Then it hit me: I this could be my career. I immediately began to research engineering schools.
Innovative, state-of-the-art, dedicated to solving the world's problems. Those three attributes are what I want in a school; those three adjectives describe the University of Michigan's College of Engineering. What makes Michigan engineering stand out from the other top schools? 1) Michigan Engineering is consistently ranked in the top ten for engineering schools nationwide. 2) Michigan Engineering has 145 labs and research centers. Stanford, also frequently listed as one of the top engineering programs in the nation, has 31 labs. 3) Michigan wins; Recently, Michigan Engineering students have won several robotics competitions, among them the 2010 American Solar Challenge and the Third International Autonomous Surface Vehicle Competition, and are in an excellent position (one of six finalists) to win the 2010 Multi Autonomous Ground-robotic International Challenge.
To say that I poured my heart into my Rube Goldberg project would be an understatement. Three weeks, a remote control car, 14 mouse traps, a bottle rocket, two paintball guns, 35feet of PVC, three lacrosse balls, and one egg later, I had fashioned the greatest egg-destroying device I had ever seen. It was one of the proudest moments of my adolescent life. What attracts me to Michigan's College of Engineering? The reason is that it is innovative, state-of-the-art, and dedicated to solving the world's problems.
It was halfway through the third trimester of my junior year
The subject is unclear, maybe put "I was halfway
The reason is that it is innovative, state-of-the-art, and dedicated to solving the world's problems.
Kind of wordy, you may want a stronger, clearer sentence for your ending.
Other than that really good, I wish I could see this machine!
Although, originally, I was not interested in the task, You already expressed this.
I realized that if I were to hope to obtain a decent grade on the project, I would need to put a significant amount of time into it. not important enough to say.
I immediately adverbs are yucky.
I began to research Rube Goldberg machines, and what I found was remarkable. Dozens of...----This is how I would begin that paragraph. It is not necessarily the best way, but it is my idea for you.
I like the fact that you are being decisive about this as a career goal. (Remember that you can have multiple careers.) Fix this typo, though!------>Then it hit me: I this could be my career.
:-)
