This is the first draft of my essay and I need some help with grammar, punctuations, and maybe a little help on my intro and conclusion. Any other corrections are welcomed and appreciated. Thank you.
Through my community in my hometown, and later my diverse education, I have found a passion in helping others. I have found life is full of opportunities for enriching one's own life through helping to improve and enrich the lives of others.
I grew up in a small community with little diversity. My town was a traditional place that was based on the well-being of the people in it. I was taught growing up that community and giving back was important. My parents were always involved in various activities and volunteer work, and those values were passed on to me. Growing up I loved being a part of a strong community and doing my part in keeping it that way.
I was able to experience other cultures through travel and learn more through higher education, which lead me to want to apply my learned values of helping others and giving back, and take it a step further. Since my experience in other countries, I have wanted an opportunity to help others on a larger scale, to help people in other cultures that are not as fortunate as we are here. I believe the Peace Corps is where I can put my knowledge and love for helping people to good use.
I understand the responsibilities and that it is going to be hard work, but I believe everything worthwhile is gained through work and commitment to the cause. Twenty seven months is a long time, but I feel like I am ready to use the knowledge I have gained to help other countries in need while serving to create a positive outlook on my country. In return, teach Americans about the country that I served in, to help people understand one another and work create better international relationships.
In reviewing the 10 Core Expectations of the Peace Corps, I feel confident in my ability to fulfill them. I am fully certain of my ability in Core Expectation 2, because it is the driving force behind choosing the Peace Corps. The most challenging Core Expectation for me will be meeting and integrating into a new culture of people. To handle this challenge, I will research the important aspects of the country, as well as keep an open mind as transition into a different culture. I am a very opening and adaptable person, I believe that although it may be challenging in the beginning, I will quickly adjust and successfully fulfill Expectation 4.
The Core Expectations will be challenging at different points in my service, but I will readily except and overcome these challenges to have the most successful experience I can. I am ready for a new chapter in my life, and look forward to the challenges and benefits that I will encounter in my service in the Peace Corps.
I was taught growing up that community and giving back was important.
^While growing up, I was taught that giving back to the community was important.
which lead me to want to apply my
^which led..
Since my experience in other countries, I have wanted
^Since my experience..in what in other countries? Volunteering, traveling, cultural awareness?
on a larger scale, to help people in other
^on a larger scale; to help
for helping people to good use.
^for serving others..
Twenty seven months is a long time, but I feel like I am ready to use the knowledge I have gained to help other countries in need while serving to create a positive outlook on my country
^awkward sentence. the latter part doesn't acknowledge the aspect of 27 months being a long time
In return, teach Americans about the country that I served in, to help people understand one another and work create better international relationships.
^In return, I hope to be able to share the culture of where I will be serving with my fellow friends and family at home in America. In doing so. I hope this cultural exchange can create better international relationships or at least improve cultural awareness.
into a new culture of people.
I am a very opening and adaptable person
^I am an adaptable person who is very open to change
that I will encounter induring my service
Good work! Just a few grammar corrections and you're good to go. As long as the rest of your application shows you're a good person with good intentions you will absolutely get an interview. Don't stress too much about the essays! Pretty much the entire application process is just to show you're committed (since it takes forever, right?) :-) I'm currently a PCV in Guatemala. I just posted an essay about some aspects of my service if you want to read it to get a better idea of what it's like to be a PCV. If you have any questions at all, let me know! GOOD LUCK!!!!
