College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
Here is my essay and I want to know whether it has presented the topic well. Shall I write more about personal experience about math? Thanks for your advice!
My affection on mathematics was destined. I was reportedly fascinated with everything related to numbers when I was only a little girl, such as a toy abacus or number cards. As I grew older, I realized that math was not only numbers. In my mind, math was the origin of the world.
In ancient Greece, math was regarded as the starting point of philosophy, and in Greek, the word "mathematics" meant the basis of knowledge. Numbers were probably the first abstract conception in the human history. It was a great breakthrough that people realized there was something identical between two apples and two oranges. Then the revolutionary invention of zero triggered the deeper thoughts in mathematics and philosophy that we human beings, as well as other nature elements were all granted from zero. Math was filled with glorious stories, and it was of splendid beauty in other fields. Great architectures were built in precise calculation; Newton's theory was based on mathematics facts; and both ancient and modern astronomy used math to further explore the outer space. Furthermore, math has played an indispensable role since people began to trade goods with coins and both accounting and statistics have become two major tools in our banking system and economic world. In the global financial crisis we are facing today, however, math has made a negative contribution. The reason is that the mathematic models are too easy and out-dated. In recent years, mathematic models with strict postulated conditions and intricate theory structures have been admired by investment banks and hedge funds as the main tools to measure financial risks. Although financial institutions have established intricate pricing models for the derivative products of the sub-prime mortgage, facing the sudden reversion of the real estate market, the assumption of the models strayed away from the actual risks of the market, causing the risk-preventing function to fail. So we must keep improving and creating mathematic models to research into the present financial condition.
Among those traits of math, the creative method of solving math problems has played the most significant role in establishing my perception. While other girls in my school were worried that they might fail the exams, I enjoyed absorbing fresh knowledge in advanced courses. I used logical method to think issues happening around. I established math models and statistic charts to evaluate the progress of the organizations I founded and activities I took part in. I also applied them in the stock market and they have brought me a considerable profit. The more I learnt from mathematics, the more I wanted to study and apply it in my life. It is true that I have already been addicted to this fundamental and advanced subject. It has given me a great sense of satisfaction to devote myself to the universe of math.
I'm not a moderator but I already see some errors. It should be affection "for" math in the first sentence, "reportedly" is not a good word for the second sentence and there are some glaring errors in your second paragraph like math "was" filled with great stories and great "architectures" (not a word)
This essay is interesting, I can see some of the sides of math that I haven't seen before. This should be nice, but if your question is whether you have presented it well, I don't think so.
The reason is that you put too much effort on the first part of question and igoring the second part. If there are more space available for your essay, i suggest you write about the second part of the question. Why cornell's program help you and how.
Good luck
Affection for mathematics seems to have been my destiny. My parents tell me that I was fascinated with everything related to numbers when I was only a little girl, playing with my toy abacus or number cards. As I grew older, I realized that math was not only numbers. In my mind, math was the origin of the world.
Math was filled with glorious stories, and it was used to create splendid beauty when applied to other fields. Great architecture has been built with precise calculation;
Among those traits of math, the creative methods of solving math problems have played the most significant role in establishing my appreciation for it.
Nice job! I corrected a few errors in the way you worded things, bu your meaning is very clear. Good luck in school!!
Kevin
