this is a fairly rough drafter please be harsh!
Food Science and Oreos
I tugged at my mom's coat, wondering why we were here. As she explained that this was the Nabisco factory, her workplace, my jaw dropped. My mom made cookies for a living? How cool was that? Handing me a box of Oreos, she led me on a tour of the factory. She took me through the giant machines churning batter to the scientists in a lab testing for various quality defects. She explained, in simple terms of course, the intricate process that culminated in the Oreo I had in my mouth. With this new knowledge, the cookie ceased to be a simple food. The process amazed me. I was eating a man-made wonder.
Since that day, I developed an interest in food and its workings. I began helping my mom in the kitchen watching her create new and exotic creations, assisting her with the simple tasks. Although my mom eventually switched careers, she still imparted to me her love of food. Yet for years, food remained only a hobby, nothing more. It wasn't until my freshman year, that I actively pursued this hobby transforming it into a passion. I started cooking on my own, concocting things from my bizarre imagination from squid in reduced orange juice to chocolate covered steak.
As I reached sophomore year, food was reintroduced to me in a more technical manner. I had recently qualified to participate in the food science event for my school's science team. As I prepared for the event, I gained more and more interest in the subject. The food aspect kept the whole topic exciting and the chemistry and biology aspects were challenging. I discovered that food science provided a practical outlet for my passion.
Food science opened a completely different field for me. I could now create new tastes on a molecular scale. I was no longer bound by whole ingredients. Carbohydrates, sugars and proteins could be synthesized to create a new exotic flavor. Through food manufacturing, I would be able to produce all twenty three flavors of Dr. Pepper or maybe even add a twenty fourth. I had found a passion, a perfect outlet to exercise my creativity, love for food and interest in science.
The food science program at Cornell allows for the applied education I need for a career in food manufacturing. It offers an integrated curriculum that will not only give me the background in science that I need but also the practical skills necessary for a job. Furthermore, many food companies offer a wide array of internships to Cornell students, allowing me to develop my technical skills further.
As a large research university, Cornell offers many opportunities to explore many areas. I hope to work with Professor Harry Lawless in researching flavor chemistry and developing new and unique tastes. Through its large facilities and world-renown professors, Cornell provides an ideal environment to pursue my studies.
Thank you so much for reading!It kept my interest all the way till the end.
What is your prompt?
And I thought your last paragraph seems a bit redundant. You may want to reword it because "as a large research university" and "through its large facilities" are very alike.
Oh and just in case, you should turn this essay in on Eastern time.
:D
If you could look at mine, that'd be great!
Nice job! It is powerful when you begin an essay with someting familiar to the reader, like Nabisco.
That last paragraph does not belong at the end. It belongs in the middle.
It would be nice to include some mention of interest in RESPONSIBLE food manufacturing, in the sense that you can help move us toward the practice of using natural ingredients and thinking about the health of the people.
this is one of my favorite essays, great job!!
"I was eating a man-made wonder ----- you are a good writer! However, "man-made" is sexist, and you would do well to use human-made instead. Human-made may not seem right, because you usually hear man-made, but your generation is in charge of ushering in an era of gender inclusive language. :-)
