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CORNELL CAS Supplement Essay- Cheating on Humanities!?


Masterus 2 / 5  
Dec 26, 2009   #1
The prompt was College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Cheating on Humanities!?

After seventeen years with a scientist, I notice a part of science remains alien to me. Whenever I encountered the periodic table, I saw 117 boxes with random numbers and letters. Yet, as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a scientist.

When I was four, I thought scientists poked at things; doctors occasionally poked their syringes at me. One day, I bumped into the wall in my dad's office. Angry, I poked a key into an outlet in the wall imagining that I could hurt the wall just as the doctors did to me. The result? A crying, surprised boy who didn't know the difference between doctors and scientists. Even until recently, I didn't understand what a scientist did.

It was a cold, dry October morning. My affair with chemistry began in an unseeming location: the dirty, old chemistry room in my school. I walked through the crowded hallways and up the stairs, making my way to the chemistry wing. As I entered the room, the teacher yelled "Take a seat as I set up a cupric chloride solution and cut a strip of iron!" A few seconds later, the blue cupric chloride solution reacted with a strip of iron wire in sodium silicate gel. At first, the entire gel radiated a fiery blue, and the wire projected dark gray. The contents of the test tube, however, transformed overnight; the blue color had disappeared, and the wire had grown fur!

When I analyzed the results, searching for the particularities in the reaction, I couldn't grasp the task. What relationship? What reaction? I was like many spectators; I ventured too close and saw the 29 protons and electrons, and 35 neutrons. When that failed, I tried to sit back, but I saw a furry, gray wire suspended in a gel. Upon examining through a microscope, I touched the truth. A tangled web of copper branches, once-blue copper ions reduced to copper metal, hugged the iron; the mass of rust-colored fur had tricked me. At that moment, I discovered what scientist meant. Whereas anyone can react two elements, only a few can find the optimal viewing frame. The sheer awe immersed my mind as I realized scientists take pictures at the best resolution.

Even if I find that perfect frame, I won't be finished. I know I can overlook or look too much, but mistakes flood my quest. I believe the College of Arts and Sciences, with its focus on learning and experimenting, offers the viewing frames; I once heard a student at Cornell say "Cornell can be summed up simply: Be the best at what we undertake to do". The CAS has more than interesting, cutting edge experiments; it has passionate teachers who show their students how to reach the viewing frame. And in this passionate environment, I know that I will be molded into a scientist. Even though chemistry was so alien, I discovered it offered more than a few beautiful sights. Sorry, humanities, looks like it's me, not you.

tkkt1 11 / 47  
Dec 26, 2009   #2
They appeared meaningless, but this changed when I mingled with chemistry.

Beneath those boxes in the periodic table is actual science. The boxes I see are just the products of actual science.
-----Sounds repetitive.

At first, the entire gel radiated a fiery blue and the wire was dark gray.
------Replace with an active verb like turned.

My first thoughts were "what happened?" and "how could I take notes on this reaction?" However, I was like many spectators; I ventured too close and saw the 29 protons and electrons, and 35 neutrons.

-----Does not seem to match with the context of your story (referencing to "too")

Until recently, I did not understand what a scientist did.

Only a few can find the optimal viewing frame; I realized scientists take pictures at the best resolution.
----Thats your definition of a scientist? Are you sure?

But even if I find that frame, I will not be finished. I know I still can overlook or look too much. But chemistry is too important.

---"But" is a conjunction that can only be used to connect clauses-- independent or dependent.
leslery 3 / 8  
Dec 26, 2009   #3
Personally, I really loved it. I thought that the voice is really spot on.

The experiment itself was a little boring, but that's probably because I am not very good with chemistry.

I love the creativity in the essay as well the whole "affair"

Good job, I hope that the admissions officers are as impressed with your work as I am!

Please review my essays as well!
OP Masterus 2 / 5  
Dec 27, 2009   #4
ah, darn, I can't edit my post, but does anyone see the 2nd to last paragraph as being needed?
michellem58867 2 / 6  
Dec 27, 2009   #5
I think this is very very creative :)
Loved the voice and the perspective.
good job !
With this essay, you will definitely stand out.
Monkey66 - / 9  
Dec 27, 2009   #6
Why'd you lose the affair metaphor partway through? It really caught my attention but then just vanished
OP Masterus 2 / 5  
Dec 27, 2009   #7
okay, I reorganized some of the paragraphs. Someone told me they didn't like the affair metaphor, and then someone told me they did. Any more opinions? One of the guys could just be an anomaly.


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