I wrote this for my Cornell CAS supplement.
I know some parts are a bit awkward, so I would love some input.
Of course, I will be sure to return the favor.
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interest, intended major, or field of study.(Maximum of 500 words. I have exactly 500 lol)
Charging toward the murky water in my pink flowery bathing suit I squealed as the chilly water collided with my warm skin. With my flotation device and goggles that allow me to see underwater, the ocean did not terrify me. At such a young age I couldn't comprehend the immensity and the depth of the ocean. Of course, as I got older, and when Finding Nemo became a huge blockbuster hit, I became aware of the deep depths of the ocean and what mysteries are hidden within.
Just as Dory and Merlin swam in the deep unknown, I also, began to explore biology, something new and exciting. Taking interest in such a broad branch of science intimidated me, but just as those courageous animated fish did, I just kept swimming. What they found was this menacing fish that illuminated in the darkness. What that intimidating fish found was dinner. What I found was an intense curiosity of not only how this fish managed to light up like Christmas, but also how it survives in such harsh conditions.
It wasn't until high school when I officially explored biology. I learned about genetics, and discovering what can get passed down from generation to generation was eye opening, to say the least. I learned about photosynthesis, and realized that this one process allows all the green vegetation to survive on our planet, which in turn allows us to survive. But then I learned about bioluminescence, which answered my questions about the fish that tried to devour Dory and Merlin. This fish isn't even the only creature capable of producing their own light. These bacteria, jellyfish, and starfish are all adapted to the darkness of the deep. Rich clusters of life flourish on the deep sea benthos 3000 feet below the ocean's surface. Instead of using the heat from the sun, they use the heat from the earth. Such creatures, such as tube worms, can thrive in a boiling chemical rich soup, chock-full of toxic chemicals and heavy metals. By mastering chemosynthesis, producing food from energy released by inorganic chemical reactions, they create a symbiotic relationship with the bacteria in the noxious brew.
I want to develop a symbiotic relationship with Cornell University. Merlin and Dory bravely plummeted into darkness; I also, am bravely and willingly entering the next stage in my life. I will take full advantage of wide spectrum of opportunities Cornell has to offer and will absorb what I need to help me adapt and prepare for my future. I don't exactly know what specific discipline I want to focus on; perhaps it is developmental biology, maybe it is biochemistry. Nonetheless, I am confident that Cornell will help me find what I am truly passionate to learn about, and will teach me well. In return, Cornell will receive a student, when in complete darkness, is motivated to find a light, or become a light. This student is not searching how to merely survive, but how to thrive in a new environment.
Charging toward the murky water in my pink flowery bathing suit, I squealed as the chilly water collided with my warm skin.
I stared at this for such a long time before I could figure out what I thought... I guess I think you should experiment with putting the Nemo stuff at the end, as a weirdly fantastic conclusion/reflection in the last paragraph.
