Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences Supplement-- What Should I Fix?

This is the prompt: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. So let me know if it's good or bad, and constructive criticism would be AWESOME. Thanks guys!

I peeked once more through the blinds, holding them open with my thumb and index finger. Gazing out onto the western horizon blanketed with the emanating luster of the constellations, I smiled and climbed back in bed. This was my favorite time of day; it was in the twilight hours that I could escape the constant pressures of reality to seek refuge in a good story. I picked up my battered copy of Romeo and Juliet, flipping open to where I had left off. Allowing myself to be engulfed once more by the timeless tale of the star-crossed lovers, I began, "These violent delights have violent ends..."

The power of words has never ceased to astonish me, not since I first began speaking and reading the English language at age five (I spoke Chinese at home before then). Whenever I opened a book, I instantly found myself mesmerized by the author's ability to manipulate my emotions. When I turned on the television and was enamored to a talk show-host's booming articulation, I envisaged myself doing something similar in the future. All throughout my school-age years, my appreciation for literature and communication has continued to heighten as I expanded my vocabulary and wielded my pen with a more defined sense of purpose.

Interestingly enough, my fields of interest directly clash with those of my parents'. My father is a calculus professor and my mother is a microbiologist. English is a second language to both of them; I find it difficult to imagine either as a successful writer, lawyer, or anything else that entails the eloquent usage of words. My lack of interest (and a correlating decline in performance, naturally) in math and science is often a great source of irritation to them. I feel as if my passion for reading, writing, and related studies has been stimulated by a thirst for independence and a desire to follow a separate path than that of my mother and father. My parents and I may not share the same intellectual pursuits, but one thing we do agree on is the paramount importance of my education-and so we agree on Cornell.

Cornell calls out to both my affinity for literature and communication and my longing for more than just a mediocre undergraduate discipline. In the College of Arts and Sciences, I could combine my passions with practicality and possibly even double major. In four years, I plan to bear the fruits of my labor with pride. My versatile and broad interests will have transitioned into a more applicable study, one that will prepare me for a profitable career. Whether I will find my mastery in journalism, psychology, English, law studies, or as that television talk-show host I once pictured myself as, Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences can help me along the way.

The description in your first paragraph is very nice! I can definitely see you cozying up with a book.


enamored by


envisioned myself


either change "has continued" to just "continued", or make the verbs in the rest of the sentence present tense as well.


actually, their professions don't necessarily clash with your interest in words. Almost all professions require communication skills, whether through speaking or writing, and their jobs in math and science don't automatically mean they don't like language.


ah, okay, this is a little iffy. You're trying to justify perhaps bad grades in math and science because you don't like the subject. However, to colleges, just because you're not as interested in something doesn't excuse a lack of hard work. I would take this out and simply focus on how you're passionate about other things, not how you aren't passionate about this.

Also, besides the possibility of a double major, how will Cornell benefit you? I think they'd want to see some mention of specific programs or aspects of their college.

Good job! I really liked this essay...it's both concise and interesting.

"The power of words"- nothing wrong with this, I've just seen a lot of essays say this exact thing

"I could combine my passions with practicality" ... this sounds a little odd- id try to rephrase so its less ambivalent

Instead of saying, "for more than just a mediocre undergraduate discipline", say something positive to avoid an almost double negative

nice work