Hi there! Any comments/suggestions would be helpful, especially with flow and clarity. Thank you in advance! :)
Tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. Describe how your ideas and interests may be realized by-and linked to-specific resources within the College of Engineering. Finally, explain what a Cornell Engineering education will enable you to accomplish. (Please limit your response to 650 words.)
On my third day of research, I handled a brain while helping my mentor slice and freeze the tissue. No, this was not the brain of a lab mouse. This was the brain of a 19 year old boy who had suffered from severe schizophrenia and had committed suicide just 24 hours ago.
The human brain has one hundred billion neurons, each connected to thousands of others and exchanging millions of signals per second. Complex and hectic, it surprisingly seldom goes wrong. However when it does, the outcomes are debilitating and often tragic, resulting in illnesses like major depression, schizophrenia and autism. From my research on schizophrenia and its biological causes, I witnessed how the symptoms of these illnesses could prevent those who live with schizophrenia from holding down jobs, engaging in society, and even accepting themselves. Yet, despite their struggles, the patients that I got to know later in my research were committed to helping those after them live better, donating their bodies for scientific research and transplant. I was blessed with the opportunity to study their donated brains after they had passed on, and I am inspired by their sacrifices to become an engineer so that I can improve the way these patients and everyday individuals live. I know the College of Engineering is the perfect place for me to strive towards this goal.
Engineering is crucial to improving patient care and thus enabling them to live more rewarding lives. While research, like my own, holds the key to unlock the mysteries of illnesses such as schizophrenia, engineering not only creates the technology for more advanced research but also utilizes the breakthroughs of research to create safe, efficient, and affordable treatments. I am interested in engineering, specifically biomedical and chemical engineering, because I want to design methods and create medicines that will enable others to live happier and healthier. Cornell's College of Engineering will provide the foundation for me to become an impactful engineer. With its myriad of research opportunities and focus on interdisciplinary training, the College of Engineering will engage me in hands-on learning, fuel my passion for STEM, and prepare me for the real-world. Furthermore, I look forward to getting to know my professors personally in such a small classroom size and research under their mentorship in world-class research facilities. I know that they will constantly push me to apply what I've learned in the classroom and that I will be continually inspired by their dedication. Their passion for STEM will only strengthen mine. Moreover, I'm excited to take advantage of the interdisciplinary, multifaceted education that only Cornell's College of Engineering can provide me. I love Cornell Engineering's three stage approach to biomedical engineering; students are encouraged to minor in biomedical engineering, major in another traditional engineering field, and then complete the Master of Engineering program in biomedical engineering. This system provides a more diverse, holistic education that still focuses on biomedical engineering, and it will propel me into the industry sooner. I plan to utilize this approach to achieve a major in chemical engineering and a Masters in biomedical engineering, establishing the credentials as a flexible, knowledgeable engineer. Staying true to "any person... any study", Cornell's College of Engineering will introduce me the various fields of STEM, with its introductory engineering courses and student project teams, and it will empower me to become the engineer who will make an impact on others' lives.
My interest in engineering is rooted in its ability to enable others in living more fulfilling lives, and I know the Cornell Engineering will provide me the opportunities to pursue this passion. Its dedicated professors and interdisciplinary education will push me to grow as a student, engineer, scientist, and individual, and through my experience in Cornell's College of Engineering, I will be able to impact others' lives.
Here are some corrections:
The human brain has one hundred billion neurons, each connected to thousands of others which are exchanging millions of signals per second.
From my research on schizophrenia and it's biological causes,
You write very well! This essay was very interesting too. If you could leave some feedback on my essay too, that would be greatly appreciated!
