College of Architecture, Art, and Planning: (500 words max)
How does the major you would like to study in the College of Architecture, Art, and Planning match your intellectual, academic, and career interests? Discuss any activities you have engaged in that are relevant to your chosen major.
Before I could walk, I was folding and cutting away origami designs. When other kids struggled controlling their pencils as they practiced their ABC's, I perfected the serifs at the tips to make it identical to computer generated letters. In middle school, I was accused of having my parents build a project for me, because it was just unbelievable for a 6th grader to have built by herself. In the summer of 9th grade I planned and built a model of my dream house I saw in a movie. In the summer of 11th grade, I attended a pre-college summer architecture program and designed my own models, while making sure my measurements were to the 32nd of an inch. Today, I dream of one day becoming an architect - one day I will build an environment for families to love, enjoy, and make lasting memories. Having moved at least once a year for ten years in three different countries, I realize how different conditions called for different kinds of buildings, and how much a different environment to cause a change in an atmosphere. The basic skills to be an architect were innate to me but to be a GREAT architect, one must have good communication skills, strong drawing skills, and solid technical abilities. Through participating in classes of AP Language and Composition, AP Studio Art, AP Calculus BC, and Physics H, I have developed such skills. But even with all these qualities I have much to learn to become an architect. Studying at Cornell's College of Architecture, Art, and Planning will help me become a successful architect, as I dream. In return I will become Cornell's promising alumnus.
is it too short? any grammer mistakes.
I think it is a little short for answering such an important question. You should explain more about how Cornell's College of Architecture, Art, and Planning can help you in order to be an successful architect in future. Also you should tell us why you want to become an architect in future in addition to your internal interest. How can Architect affect people life both mentally and physically? Why architect have a great impact on society? ...
I could not find any grammar mistake. I think you write well ...
Good Luck
Adeleh
Before I could walk, I was folding and cutting away origami designs
It might sound more realistic if you do not say "cutting." Who lets a toddler play with scissors? :-)
Okay, the beginning of this... sentence after sentence, you seem to be making a case to support an assertion that you are an elite, brilliant student. That can be off-putting. I think you should add a sentence or two at the beginning that will express an idea about a meaningful value... something to which you have been dedicated. Establish a theme, and you will make it so that all the self-assertion is actually assertion that you are DRIVEN by something special. That is a little different from saying over and over how good you were at these things.
Even though I see to be criticizing, I actually do not mean to suggest that this is not good. It has good energy, and you obviously have a lot of potential!
