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Cornell University (College of Arts and Sciences Supplement)


edgardz21 5 / 11  
Dec 13, 2009   #1
College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

This is my first draft, please revise.
Its short between 300-400 words

Max 500 words

Should I stick with the international relations issue or talk about all the branches of politics?

Living in the immeasurable world, the world seemed so beautiful and adventurous, until I realized the reality of the world. After September eleventh, my family started watching the news more often and I would always watch late night news with them. Many questions emerged in my head about the mysterious globe we live in while watching the news regarding such as " Why are we at war", "why did they blow up the car" and "why are people dying" . As I grew up, my curiosity grew. Unlike most middle school kids, I liked watching the news but constantly watching the news showed me that there are many problems in my community and the world just waiting to be solved.

By watching the news at a young age, I gained an understanding how politics work. I soon applied that understanding to my every day life. At times I became frustrated with my majors lack of work as well as the Bush administrations foreign policy, but these frustrations gave me an idea. I could be the mayor or the president making those decisions the proper way. Ever since I became aware of the world, I have wanted the best for my country, but there are so many barriers such as politicians catering to special interest group as well as corruption. The government has yet to do something about these barriers. But why complain about the government when I live in a country that allows anyone to become involved in politics. With my involvement in politics, I can fix the issues rather than complain in front of my televisions screen about them. I am seeking to study at Cornell University's College of Arts and Sciences so I can further my understanding of politics. I can study American politics, comparative and international relations, all which will prepare me for the world of politics. I look for a college that will allow me to study deeper roots of government; Cornell's Government major expands its courses into deeper ranges from economics to sociology, and to international politics. I am also presented with the opportunity to concentrate in a specific part of Government, which in my case would be international relations. With classes such as International Law, Ethics in International Relations and Comparative Foreign Policy, I will be able to further my passion for politics.
allathlete5 5 / 19  
Dec 13, 2009   #2
Living in the immeasurable world , the world seemed so beautiful and adventurous, until I realized the reality of the world

I seem to get the impression of redundancy with the world... maybe you could try to change that up? or add some sort of sentence in between?

Just a thought..

Unlike most middle school kids, I liked watching the news but constantly watching the news showed me that there are many problems in my community and the world just waiting to be solved.

I'm not sure what it is.. but it sounds a little weird.. I think there should maybe be a comma after world.. but im not too sure..

This is a WONDERFUL essay!!! you hit the prompt well in my opinion! just a few things you can fix but nothing crucial!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 16, 2009   #3
I'm excited about your future in politics! I noticed in another of your essays that you write very well, and god writers are good thinkers. So... you have my vote already!

For this essay, condense all this thoughtful material so that you express your points concisely: 9/11 caused your family to become a news-watching family, and this got you interested in politics. Excellent. Next, prove that you are ahead of your game by writing the second para -- about our foreign policy -- in a way that shows your deep understanding. Don't just say the same criticisms everybody else gives; instead, make a strong and unique case against Bush foreign policy and show through your paragraph that you already have deep understanding.

This might require you to read a few articles -- perhaps one about "game theory" and the U.S. Middle East relations, or perhaps a book entitled the End of American Imperialism

amazon.com/Limits-Power-End-American-Exceptionalism/dp/1863953272

You are certainly smart enough to understand deeply, so you may as well do some research to commemorate this occasion and really impress them.

here is a part to cut: unlike other middle school students


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