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'a costume to wear for one year of my life' - Common App


bestcrayons911 2 / 7  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
Imagine you have to wear a costume for a year of your life. What would you pick and why?

If you had to wear one costume for a year, what would it be? (or something of that ilk)

I'd have to think this through very carefully before picking a costume to wear for one year of my life. To make this situation as fun as possible, this costume would have to fulfill certain requirements.

First of all, it would have to be memorable. What's the use of wearing a costume for an entire year if no one's going to notice? It'd also need to be something that would show people that I have a quirky side to me, too. Secondly, it would have to be decent. It would lead to a lot of awkward questions and stares if I went to a Sunday service or visited my grandparents in something skimpy (not like I'd ever wear anything skimpy anywhere anyway. I have some dignity.) Lastly, it would have to be comfortable. I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in something that is hard to move in and makes me overheat all the time.

Keeping these criteria in mind, I think that my ideal costume would be a Jedi warrior. It would be really easy to put together even if it wasn't anywhere near Halloween. I could always wear a really long tan shirt belted in the middle over some brown leggings and knee high boots. Add a hooded robe (possibly a Snuggie) and a light saber from Walmart and I'd be good to go.

There are many ways in which being a Jedi warrior for a year would be awesome. One example is the possibility of light saber battles. If I managed to convince some of my friends to dress up with me on some days, we'd be able to have epic light saber battles anywhere we wanted to. Showing people that I wouldn't mind having epic light saber battles in front of complete strangers could possibly help me open up, too. Another point is that being a Jedi warrior does a very good job of filling my requirements and then some. Wearing a Jedi costume interferes with very little with my current day-to-day schedule. I'd be able to continue my conditioning training just fine. Running and lifting weights wouldn't be an issue. With one look at my robe and light saber, no one would have to ask what I was. But I think the most important advantage would be that I wouldn't have to agonize over what to wear for an entire year.
Ravenclaw_roar 4 / 38  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
Hey there! I'll be applying to Brandeis as well! =) This is an interesting essay, I never thought about being a Jedi lol. But I can't seem to really make out your character from the costume you want to wear - maybe you should try to draw the links btwn your personality and the costume more explicitly? Also, isn't the whole point of wearing a costume for a whole year is to be able to lead a different life?
sarahbee 1 / 49  
Dec 30, 2011   #3
I really like your essay. It's a nice read. I love the humor, but I also love the practicality of your choice. It is obvious that you thought this one through. GREAT JOB!

please check out my princeton essay. thanks :D
karissa_a16 4 / 94  
Dec 30, 2011   #4
I agree with the above poster. Try to connect why being a jedi is right for your personality.
jasononwenu 5 / 19  
Dec 30, 2011   #5
You seem to tell a lot about being a Jedi warrior. How and what do these attributes tell about you?
sarahbee 1 / 49  
Dec 30, 2011   #6
i agree with the above poster. you should add how being a jedi warrior relates to you? like what characteristics you guys share.
OP bestcrayons911 2 / 7  
Dec 30, 2011   #7
thanks for all the comments. i realize what i have to do, but i'm not sure how to do it. any suggestions?
unwana11 4 / 13  
Jan 7, 2012   #8
@frazzledbrain

Could you please read my essay, i need it proofread as soon as possible..
OP bestcrayons911 2 / 7  
Jan 7, 2012   #9
Thanks unwana11, that was very helpful...
ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 96  
Jan 7, 2012   #10
I can't think of anything worse than being stuck in something that is hard to move in and makes me overheat all the time

shouldn't it be overheated?

There are many ways in which being a Jedi warrior for a year would be awesome.

Try 'reasons' instead of ways. Ways seems like a wrong choice of word here. SO try to edit accordingly after that.

Wearing a Jedi costume interferes with very little with my current day-to-day schedule

Also you've used "Epic light saber battles" twice in the essay. It seems to spoil the flow, edit that if possible :)

I'd be able to continue my conditioning training just fine.

Conditioning Training? Does this have a connotation for a daily activity? Or is it an esoteric Star Wars term? Help me here. :/ This seems vague.

I like your Jedi costume idea. But please don't mind me if I give you some constructive criticism.
Your essay starts with great promise. I feel almost compelled to read it further. So a plus there!! :)
As I progress and you mention your choice of costume - A Jedi's disguise, I feel more intrigued. However, as I read on about the reasons behind picking this costume, I feel a bit let down because it fails to satisfy me on a more than just shallow point of view. Do you get what I mean? I don't get to hear your voice much, or your inner thoughts and your dilemmas or inner conflicts.

The way to go about this is trying to put in more reasoning to your choice behind your Jedi costume. Its hidden/deeper implications on your daily life more than the obvious ones. More of your insight, and though process while wearing the costume. And then also incorporate the fun elements of your costume. It would truly make your essay a very strong piece of writing.

Now, to me this essay seems like it has a lot of potential and promise, but fails to deliver as much. These are just my suggestions, you're not obliged to follow them through please! :)

Good job and Good luck!!!!

I would really be grateful if you commented on BOTH my threads if possible. I could really use help reviewing my essays.
phhai 7 / 25  
Jan 10, 2012   #11
Well I would say it started like a good essay. However, cause you put it "as fun as possible", I think it showed a bit reckless side of you. I know it is fun to be a Jedi, but I think the adcom would like to know who you are, so I believe you should try to talk a bit more than just a Jedi costume.

The reasons were good, however I found it a bit childish when you use those reasons for the Jedi costume.


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