Hi Guys,
So this one is a two parter for my UVA application.
1. Answer the question that corresponds to the school you selected above. Limit your answer to a half page or roughly 250 words.
College of Arts & Sciences: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
Back when Glee was still a hit show, I remembered one song that they covered that stood out. As Darren Criss sings Cough Syrup, by Young the Giant, school bully Karofsky is outed as homosexual in front of his new school. Karofsky then goes home and attempts to hang himself in his closet. The whole scene made me nearly cry at the cruelty the world held.
The haunting guitar riff coupled with the melancholy tone of the piece always fascinated me. I always thought that the song could be taken as both a cry for help or a sign of defeat. The lines "one more spoon of cough syrup now", "life's too short to even care at all", "if I could find a way to see this straight, I'd run away to some fortune that should have found by now" all lead me to believe that the singer was giving up on life by overdosing on cough syrup.
On the other side, cough syrup is remedy to heal. The singer could be "waiting for this cough syrup to come down", as a way for the singer to get better from life's depression.
My interpretation is that the singer is only using cough syrup as a temporary fix for his larger problems. Cough syrup only relieves someone of their symptoms, it does not actually cure it. Instead of addressing the roots of his problems, he is merely seeking a temporary solution.
So for this essay, I wasn't really sure if I had completely answered the prompt. I also wasn't too sure if I had made a meaningful impact in the essay so any suggestions on how to improve that would be great.
2. Answer one of the following questions in a half page or roughly 250 words:
What is your favorite word and why?
My favorite word is "sweat". I used to associate the word with the mundane repetition of endless drills. After competing my whole life, be it in soccer or music, I came to realize that sweat was a gauge of effort. The more I sweat, the more often I won, and that felt good. But then the competition caught up, and I lost. I would think to myself, "I sweated, but I did not win. What is the point of putting in effort if you do not always win?". After one particular upsetting moment when I put forth total sweat and still lost the championship, my father took me out for ice cream. It was in that moment that I realized that sweat is the process. The process of struggling, failing, and working was intrinsically valuable. I did not need a trophy or even ice cream to prove that my work was valuable. My sweat was proof enough.
So for this essay, I still have about 100 words to use. I also want to improve on my hook so any suggestions on that front would be great. I think I also need to work on transitioning between ideas in this one and adding more clarity to the essay. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
Hi Linc! Thank's for the opportunity to help you!
school bully Karofsky => I don't understand the passage. Sorry :(, It's better for you to change the phrase. :)
his new school . =>friends
Karofsky then goes home and attempts to hang himself => simple past tense => went home and attempted
fascinated => present tense : fascinate
I always thought that : think
Hi Lincoln, I have read the first essay and as much as I want to continue to the 2nd one, I have a few observations for your first one. I agree that you somehow did not answer the prompt, what you wrote is a mere interpretation of the episode you saw from Glee, what the prompt is, if there's anything from work of art, music, science math or literature that challenged you.
An example would be, if you want to go with music, we can say, how did people come to terms that Beethoven's or Mozart's music has something to do with the proper development of a child's brain, something like this, I believe you have the right answer to this prompt and you are just having challenges in putting them into words and even more so, writing them.
As this is a UVA prompt, you would also like to keep it in a formal form of writing, keep your words conversational and easy to comprehend. I hope this insights helped and I will get back to you for the 2nd prompt.
