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'the country of my ancestors: Cuba' -my college essay


laurenvictoria 1 / 3  
Nov 30, 2011   #1
Any feedback would be awesome thanks

Cuba

An experience that changed my life occurred this past summer. I was fortunate enough to visit the country of my ancestors: Cuba. I spent a week without technology: no Facebook, no computer, no cell phone. The only contact to the outside world consisted of a daily 2 minute phone call to my mom, on my cousins worn cell phone. I experienced a detox from American society. Cuba forced me to step away from technology and immerse myself in culture, my family history and in a newly learned appreciation of nature.

During my stay, I felt completely welcomed. I felt at home. Despite the corrupt Government and the poverty, it seemed that everyone there always had a smile on his or her face, and always made sure I had a smile on my face. Not one day passed without be called "mi amor" or "mi vida" by complete strangers. Yes, part of this maybe due to the fact that I am American, and the Cubans adore Americans. They would do anything for us. This same love was passed on within the natives. While driving on the main road, I constantly witnessed hitchhikers getting rides from complete strangers, no questions asked. In the United States, most people do not dare to pick up a hitchhiker, because of questions about their motives. The Cubans did not worry about these questions. These hitchhikers were just normal people, too poor to afford even a bike, in desperate need to get to work. That kind, gracious welcoming extended to me even though I am American.

One night, my cousin Chris, some other relatives and I sat outside the old blue house my great grandfather built. We surrounded an aged wooden table on a covered cement deck. Rain had just fallen and the sound thunderstorms could be heard roaring in the distance. For hours we played tic tac toe, drew pictures and played "cats cradle" with a piece of white string we found on the floor. I can honestly say I had the time of my life. Being outside until the late hours was more fun than browsing the internet or watching television. Afterwards we all gathered on the small front porch and enjoyed each others presence. I sat on an old rocking chair, listening to the elders speak in their native language as the sounds of crickets lingered in the background and a constant warm breeze brushed us. Back here in America, I had always found myself turning on the television as the night neared, unaware that the most incredible live entertainment was right in my backyard: nature.

I find myself outside more after my visit, in fact I wrote this entire paper on my front lawn lying on blanket with the stars above me. Being forced away from technology helped me realize how much more there is to life. Although I do love film and television, I know realize it is important to occasionally step outside and enjoy Earth. I cannot wait for the new experiences my next visit will bring me.
aripeters17 4 / 10  
Nov 30, 2011   #2
During my stay, I felt completely welcomed .
government should not be capitalized.
Not one day passed without be called "mi amor" or "mi vida" by complete strangers. --> Not one day passed without complete strangers calling me "mi amor" or "mi vida."

These hitchhikers were just normal people, too poor to afford even a bike, who desperately needed to get to their work .
That kind, gracious welcoming attitude extended to me even though I am American.
Back here in America, I had always found myself turning on the television as the night neared, unaware that the most incredible live entertainment was right in my backyard: nature.

I find myself outside more after my visit; in fact, I wrote this entire paper on my front lawn.
Although I do love film and television, I now realize it is important to occasionally step outside and enjoy Earth.

Other than those few small errors, your essay was a joy to read! It was fresh, unique, and very sincere. I'm sure the college admissions officers will love it. :)


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