undergraduate course at SVA, Writing Statement of intent!

Hi guys.

I just wrote a statement of intent and I guess you will find many problems with it down there.
I'm applying for the undergraduate course at SVA and this is really important to me. I desperately need your help.
english is not my native language and writing an essay is incredibly hard.
I really have no idea how my eassay would look to you guys...

I appreciate any advices and suggestions. thanks.T_T

Here I am, trying to introduce myself to the school that I want to go to learn more about cartooning is somehow surprising and unexpected. I used to write short stories when I was a child. I just liked telling stories and building up my own world. My parents even thought that I would be a writer or a poet, nothing like a cartoonist. Although I also liked drawing people doing something like talking to each other or fighting and so on, I never thought about becoming a cartoonist or a painter because drawing was just too natural to me.

Later when I entered middle school, I had a chance to read some Japanese comic books and it was just whole a new experience to me. Those were exciting, fun and had attractive characters in it. I hadn't known that characters on a paper could be felt like they were really talking and moving, and I realized that the drawings can be so much interesting when they have stories in it. And as much as I've gotten to know that there are many kinds of cartoons all over the world besides Japanese comics, I got into Cartooning more and more. Since I liked painting pretty scenes and people, and making stories up, it was just obvious that I was going to be into it. I gradually started to dream of becoming a cartoonist.

The most attractive aspect of cartooning was found when I really tried to make one. Not only knowing where to put camera view, but also positioning panels and balloons in different sizes and putting the blank space to make proper atmosphere could change the whole work. It felt different and made me nervous, of course in a good way. I was so surprised that there were so many choices to make a few pages of cartoon. I felt like a fish which found water for the first time. I've really enjoyed thinking about how to direct my story to be seen by readers. I was also waiting for the reactions that were extremely exciting moments as well. I was thrilled and embarrassed at the same time and I just couldn't help liking it.

I firmly believe that all the artworks are about messages. Whatever the artists intended to put in the artworks, readers get to their own conclusion which may reflect from their own experience. I want to make a cartoon that contains certain messages that make people think and feel. Some people may find themselves in those messages or experience a whole new life through the characters. Isn't it just exciting? I always like experiencing something new by watching cartoons and movies. Therefore, I want to give this awesome experience back to people through appealing stories and paintings.

As I keep working on making cartoons, I've become to have one ambition which is to meet many people including those who are in the field of arts so that I could learn and share variety of techniques and new thoughts to gain profundity and my own originality to my art works. This ambition is also a reason why I chose SVA, which takes place in the middle of Art field, to give a shape to my dream. I have no doubts that SVA is the best place to expand my world and learn how to bring my imaginations effectively onto the papers.

Are you trying to say that trying to introduce yourself to this school is somehow surprising? or you saying that cartooning is surprising. The ending somewhat hangs there.


I simply enjoyed telling...


that doesnt seem to connect? though I guess I can't argue with you.


Keep the tense similar? you talk in present tense, past tense, then present, then past...


I think you meant, I had not known that characters on paper could give readers the feeling that the pictures were talking and moving. ? something like that? Or are you saying something different?


As I found out that there are many kinds of cartoons all over the world besides Japanese comics, I got into cartooning even more.


It became obvious to you right? say "it became obvious to me that.."


rephrase: started pursuing a dream? started to form a dream? increased your pursuit of this field?


that all art is about messages*


Are you saying that artists intend to place one thing in their art, but readers get a different message? Or that in addition to the author's message, readers make their owns conclusions that reflect their own experience?


I thought it was just so exciting that some people may ...


run-on. As I continue to make cartoons, I have found an ambition to meet many new people, especially those in the arts field, so that I could learn and share varieties of techniques, as well as find new thoughts to gain profundity and originality to my art works.

I like the topic. It's cool that you've had experience with what you want to do. Focus a little more on what was important about cartooning to you, and why you chose it. About the statement of intent, what did you have to address and talk about? Is this a casual statement, a autobio, or experience statement? what do you have to focus on, because I'm not sure what bases you still have to cover.

Thank you very much!
with your help, it became way better to read:)

on the school web site, it says "in 500 words or less, discuss your reasons for pursuing undergraduate study in the visual arts. feel free to include any information about yourslef, your goals and interests that may not be immediately apparent from the review of your porfolio"

so I wanted to explain what I'm excited about cartooning..
do you think it needs to be added some more?

Whatever the artists intended to put in the artworks, readers get to their own conclusion which may reflect from their own experience. <- and I guess I'd better remove this sentence. it is confusing...even to me. thanks again!