"The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals." 400-650 words. Can you also tell me if I answered the WHY I'm a good fit part well? Maybe I just answered it indirectly. I'm not quite sure. Thank you!
August 6, 2001: CourtTV
Watching a Forensic Files marathon with my mom, I expanded my four year old vocabulary to include the words DNA, forensic, and evidence. Ever since, I have been fascinated by the psychology behind a criminal's actions, the methods to obtain evidence, and the effect crimes have on a regional and worldly scale.
At Penn's College of Arts and Sciences, I plan to major in Criminology, an undergraduate major exclusive to UPenn of all the Ivy Leagues. What I appreciate most about this major is its ability to draw upon multiple fields: history and law in SOC200, social science in SOCI380, and so on. With Penn's interdisciplinary approach to learning, I can satisfy my specific interest while still gaining a broader area of knowledge, thereby enabling me to view any situation through multiple lenses.
Monday, March 28, 2011: Patient Room 8
I pick at the rashes on the side of my neck. I clear my throat. I place my palm on my forehead. "You have scarlet fever. It's a very rare condition," Dr. Lee said.
Upon arriving home, I googled "scarlet fever." What was happening inside my body? Why was I so itchy? How did I even develop this sickness? The answer: an infected group A streptococcus bacteria.
As an aspiring physician, I will be able to complete my pre-med course requirements at CAS, while also exploring Healthcare and Policy management courses at Wharton and Nutrition courses at the School of Nursing. This intellectual pursuit of mine is only possible at Penn with its pre-professional undergraduate and graduate schools located all on one campus. Furthermore, Penn's location encourages community involvement, following an education with real life applications. I will definitely donate my time at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania and/or the Philadelphia Children's Hospital. Not only will I gain valuable clinical exposure at two of the most acclaimed hospitals in the nation, but I will also take a lot from even the most seemingly mundane conversations with patients of various backgrounds. I also plan to join Penn in Medical Missions for its amazing opportunities to shadow doctors and educate others on public health issues in other countries. As the founder and president of the EHS Leo's Club, I hope to add to this organization by displaying and acting on my passion for Type 2 diabetes awareness.
Summer 2014: Cell Biology and Anatomy Department
Feed hippocampus slices, drug the slices, deprive the slices of glucose and oxygen, photograph the slices, analyze pictures, and repeat. Despite this seemingly monotonous process, I am humbled by the potential my study has to contribute to the improvement of neurodegenerative drug therapies, crucial for those who have suffered from stroke, brain traumas, or other physically stressful events. To me, research is more than just sitting behind a microscope for four hours straight; research is focusing in on (magnifying, which word is better to use?) an idea to better understand the world around us and to advance the quality of our lives. Research is a continuous process that I am compelled to participate in at Penn, a top-ranked undergraduate research university.
Under Penn's Center for Undergraduate Fellowships (CURF), I hope to work with Dr. Ted Abel, who also studies the mammalian hippocampus and seeks to develop innovative therapies for neurological disorders. At some point, I want to share my findings in the College Undergraduate Research Electronic Journal (CUREJ). In addition, I see myself presenting neuroscience to a younger audience by taking part in the Kids Judge Neuroscience Fair.
Fall 2015: Pending
I can finally identify myself as a "Penn CAS student:" an open-minded individual, determined to merge the arts with the sciences. Walking down Locust Walk, I am greeted by granny smith apples from the Penn Vegan society, free meditation ceremonies from the Soka Bodhisattvas organization, and a salsa dance exhibition from Penn Latin and Ballroom Dance Club. Decisions, decisions (pun intended).
Watching a Forensic Files marathon with my mom, I expanded my four year old vocabulary to include the words DNA, forensic, and
I think it might not be helpful to suppose that the television shows they watched with you expanded your vocabulary, etc., and it's not good to say a television show is the basis for your aspiration.
ability to draw upon multiple fields: history and law in SOC200, social science in SOCI380, and so on. --- I don't think combining many fields is what makes it worthwhile.
I like the way you focused on what is unique about this college and how it is especially good for helping you achieve your goals. That puts pressure on the reader to give you an opportunity. But it just is not convincing yet! Have you read any professional journal articles written by professors at this school? If you are inspired by an article written by a graduate or professor at the school, that would be more believable and meaningful as a reason this school might be better for you.
I hope to add to this organization by displaying and acting on my passion for Type 2 diabetes awareness. -- This is a strong ending for this part. This is all very impressive, all the writing her. I try to give a critique, but it really is a good demonstration of intelligence and clarity.
Despite this seemingly monotonous process, I am humbled by the potential --- This is not exactly right. To express what you intend to express, it can be like this:
Despite how monotonous this process seems...
All of this is great. I like the lighthearted thoughtfulness of the last part, which includes meditation practice. But what do all those have to do with your intentions for making a big splash in this world? That is the theme that ties it all together?
: )
