Cowbell mathematics competition; How my experiences contribute

describe how an experience/passion would contribute to the university community

Traveling through the highway from Calabar in 1998, i taught it was one of those regular trips to visit grandma. It took several months in the village before it dawned on me that my mother was no more and since my dad lacked the resources to take of me and my siblings, he has brought us back to stay with grandma.

My grandmother was kind, but everything about the village i detested. Eventually dad went back to the city to hustle and my elder brother was taken to stay with an uncle in Ekiti state .I was left alone to tend for my younger siblings. These were the most terrible moments of my life for I had left the regular class in Calabar where students were entitled to one seat and a desk to a class in the village where only the teacher had a seat. Although the death of my mother left sorrow and some years of hardship in the village, but it lead me to understand the science of responsibility and leadership. I had learnt t to interact with other children of my local community and also to understand to the needs of my younger siblings. These characteristics have guided me all through my life.

We eventually joined our father after three years and it was like starting life all over again had to learn to adopt to the school system in Abuja and I dropped some of my village characteristics but there were some things I could not let go which were the responsibility, leadership and determination to succeed which I got from my stay in the village. Moving from Calabar to the village then to Abuja and residing in four towns in Abuja taught how to interact with new people, their culture and beliefs. The challenges i had did not make me take a detour on my desire to succeed. I became one of the best students in mathematics, representing my school in the prestigious Cowbell mathematics competition. All these were possible because i decided to use what i have passed through to sharpen my future.

The death of my taught me responsibility but most importantly the life of my father taught me sacrifice, a man who gave up his business to send me to secondary school and permitted me to write the SAT even when he taught it was a waste of time since he could not afford to send me abroad. He will always say "echi ga di mma" meaning tomorrow will be better. He believed in me and everyday am more determined to succeed, so his sacrifices would not be in vain.

I believe all my experiences in Nigeria is an arch to build upon and like Josh Billings rightly said "experience is a grindstone and it is lucky for us if we get brightened by it and not get ground." I would not just be coming to the United States with my soccer skills but Passion for greatness and determination to succeed is what i would be bringing to the MSU community. Becoming a Spartan would give me an opportunity to interact with great minds, create opportunities and become beneficial not only to myself but to my local community.

I thought*


"but I detested everything about the village." seems more flowing in my opinion


I had learned to*


and it was like starting life all over again.*We had to learn to ..."


"These challenges did not make..." Sounds much better in my opinion.


My mother's death taught me*


you should DEFINITELY rethink what you are saying here because I am not quite sure you mean to say you're mothers death is less important than your father's life sacrifices. To compare those things seems off putting to whoever reads this.


when he thought*


This sentence is very nice because it directly shows us about the relationship between you and you're father through simple personal experience. Rather than you stating facts of you or your father.


this whole paragraph gets really lost between you're father potentially not believing in you going away to school and then all of the sudden "he believed in me". also it should be "and everyday I* am more..."

on a final note, I think you have the potential to write a really great piece about your experience. However, what you're saying here isn't very tangible and lacks impact. I would break it down and talk more about what responsibility means to you and how it is relatable to how you live your life.

***PLEASE LIKE MY RESPONSE*** (even if you don't) I NEED IT FOR CREDIT TO DELETE SOMETHING OFF HERE***