Please post your comments and suggestions :-)
'Why?' This question has plagued my mind from as far back as I can remember. I have an unquenchable thirst to get to the bottom of things, and the enigmatic universe has only further aggravated my curiosity. I discovered my passion for the sciences in early childhood, and there has never been any doubt about what I wanted to do with my life. I remember, as a girl of 10, taking my computer apart, because I wanted to see those 'insect-like things' inside, wearing a silly smile for my mother. In high school, my interest in physics, mathematics and computer programming grew, along with my love for machines and awed respect for the developing technologies. Studying the basics of electromagnetism and electronics has made me realize that it is in that field that my interest lies. Diodes, semiconductors, transistors, IC's: the intricacy and perfection with which these devices are developed, and the way they have become indispensable to mankind in such a short time span amazes, and in a childish way, excites me. Ever since I've had the slightest idea about engineering, I've wanted to be an engineer. Engineers, with their creativity, skill and application of science, and amazing analytical and logical thinking, create technology. I am a believer in technology and its power to redefine our lives. I want to turn into reality the technologies that I've always dreamed of. I want to be an engineer.
So i reread this paragraph 3 times trying to find ANYthing to improve on, but honestly i think its as perfect as it can get. You genuinely sound like you want to be an engineer, as if it is your calling, and i WISH i could help by editing and revising this but i swear i tried, and i cant find anything wrong with it!! Haha i hope you get accepted, just by that paragraph i feel like you were made to become an engineer :p
It was very nice reading a positive feedback, these past few days have been rather unnerving.
Thank you so much :)
What you write is just too pure and honest which is very good.
Hope you'll make it to columbia ^^
Wooo. What a great essay! It shows really what attracts you to that particular field. Your writing is very candid and honest, which makes you come across as truly interested and committed. I think you have an excellent shot of getting in! Good luck
Thank you so much!
I do hope you're right :)
I read your other essay and this one is just as good as the first! I like how you insert an anecdote from your childhood and your passion for engineering really shines through. Make sure to get rid of contractions though because this is technically a formal essay.
Wow, an amazing essay! Definitely Columbia caliber. I looked over it about 5 times and saw no flaws whatsoever. Good luck with your application!
Thank you all very much!
Please be free to criticize, I really think there is scope for improvement :/
