"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep".
~Scott Adams
This is a quote that speaks volumes to my life. If you were to ask my friends to describe me they would tell you that I am a creative, confident, independent and unique individual whose life experiences have shaped me into the person that I am today. Through many hardships and struggles I have finally gotten to a place where I am able to pursue my dreams of going to art school and graduating with a degree in Historic Preservation. History and art are things that have always been very much a part of my life, and I have been searching for a program that will allow me to preserve them both. I have always wondered, who is it that maintains these precious artifacts so that they can be enjoyed for generations?
I grew up painting old furniture in my grandmother's basement every summer. Most of these items were very old. They had chipped paint, broken drawers, and missing knobs. I remember how much fun I had trying to fix and repurpose these pieces. Most of them didn't make it upstairs to the main part of the house to be proudly displayed, but they are still creating quite an ambience in the basement! When you are down there, you are surrounded by dressers with my impressions of the Impressionists (my favorite is Renoir because of his focus on beauty and color), ceiling tiles painted like the Tuscan countryside, and an upright piano painted like the album cover of Cat Stevens' Tea for the Tillerman. The feeling I get in that room is magical, knowing that I was the one that brought that old furniture back to life with my artistic mind and creativity. Earning my degree will allow me to keep the history alive but on a much larger scale.
Savannah captured my attention four years ago while driving through with a friend on our way to the beach. After touring the city earlier this March, I knew I needed to be involved with this city somehow. Once I learned that the Savannah College of Art and Design offered a program in Historic Preservation, I knew I had to apply. I feel very strongly that this is what I am meant to do in order to make a difference in the world. It is my opinion that there is a lot of history out there that many people are unaware of. For example, while touring Savannah, I learned that during the Civil War, General Sherman's troops were stationed in the Colonial Park Cemetary because it was good for their horses. While the Union troops were there, many of the soldiers looted the graves and changed the dates on the headstones, making one person almost 1700 years old! This is not something that is commonly known, so my goal is to become a preservation researcher and design consultant so that our Nation's early heritage can be visible, accessible, and memorable for generations to come.
I would like to attend SCAD because of its unmatched reputation for outstanding curriculum, faculty, and resources. During my campus tour, I was amazed that many of the historic buildings in Savannah belong to the school and that the technology used is so advanced. I believe that the location and structure of the curriculum will allow me to take full advantage of my creative ability to learn and succeed. I would be truly honored to become a part of such an amazing school.
This is already fairly good. A few suggestions:
"Most of these items were very old, had paint chipping off, broken drawers, and overall, in complete disrepair." Revise for parallel structure.
"It is my opinion that there is a lot of history out there that many people are unaware of." Some specific examples would be nice.
"SCAD is my top choice for art school because of its unmatched reputation for outstanding curriculum, faculty, and resources." This sounds like a summary of your main points (as it is part of your conclusion) but in fact it is the first time you have mentioned any of these things.
Thanks, Sean, for that feedback! VERY HELPFUL! Like I said, this is the very first draft of my very first statement... I havent written an essay since high school (6 years) so, your comments are very much appreciated!
Lindsay
okay, here is my second draft with some tweaks... let me know what you all think!! Also, am I supposed to have a heading on this?
-Linds
If you were to ask my friends to describe me they would tell you that I am a creative, confident, independent and unique individual whose life experiences have shaped me into the person that I am today. Through many hardships and struggles I have finally gotten to a place where I am able to pursue my dreams of going to art school and graduating with a degree in Historic Preservation. History and art are things that have always been very much a part of my life, and I have been searching for a program that will allow me to preserve them both. I have always wondered who it is that maintains these precious artifacts so that they can be enjoyed for generations?
I grew up painting old furniture in my grandmother's basement every summer.
...
How about using italics for this question:
I have always wondered, Who it is that maintains these precious artifacts so that they can be enjoyed for generations?
The opening sentence, with the list of adjectives your friends would use about you... I don't want to say it is boring, because it actually does sort of capture the attention... but I think you can do better if you say something interesting about the field you want to go into and course of study you want to pursue. Keep it interesting, but consider starting off with a sentence about a concept, an ideal related to your field... not the list of adjectives...
If you tell WHY Renoir is your favorite you'll be more convincing...
Really, I am just nitpicking, because the essay is looking good.
Great job. Your revised essay is very well-written. I can't think of any major criticisms for you, so I'll just wish you good luck in your application.
