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'Creativity from my heart' - it can't be taken away from me


DarkAngelAiza 3 / 1  
Nov 18, 2007   #1
Hiya, can you please look over my personal statement and tell me how to improve it?
Please and thank you!

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it realte to the person you are?

I did an essay on how creativity is teh personal quality thta is important to me

The things that makes all different from one another are our personalities. Each person has a different personality; therefore they all have different characteristics that define their personalities. Each person has different qualities and characteristics that make them special and unique. However, there is usually one quality or one characteristic that a person considers to be more important than the other. For me, that quality is creativity.

Most people wouldn't really consider creativity to be the quality that is important to them, but to someone like me it is. Ever since I was a child, I was never really good at any particular subject. I was always average on everything. I never had any special talent or quality that I could proudly display to the world. At times, it would make me sad that I didn't have any special quality or talent to be proud of. When I was older, I came to realize that creativity is a quality. Not everyone can be creative. And the thing I liked about creativity was that there was no right or wrong. Anything that you did could be considered creative. Like the way you design your room or posters. Creativity was not abstract and couldn't be taken away by an accident, no matter what it was always there.

My creativity makes me proud because it allows me to turn something plain and ordinary into something exciting and unique. Creativity applies to a great deal of things. Creativity can apply to art, fashion, design and plenty of other things as well. But the kind of creativity that I'm proud to have is the kind that makes a story interesting. Every since I was little child I wanted to a writer. I always wanted to write stories that involved far away lands and extraordinary people. But in order to write an interesting story one has to be creative. One has to be able to use their imagination and creativity and put it all on paper. One has to create something out of nothing. One has to take an idea and develop it so it can be turned into an interesting story. If you think about it, all the great writers must have had creativity otherwise how would they make their stories so interesting?

Creativity is important to me because it's something that I'll always have and like faith, it can't be taken away. Creativity is a quality that comes from the heart and it is something that I will always cherish.

~Risa
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Nov 20, 2007   #2
Greetings!

You've written a good essay. Here are some editing tips for you:

I have always had a habit of liking things I was never good at. - This is an intriguing sentence, and makes me want to know more about that. However, you then immediately switch to "I have a great passion for devouring books." which seems like an unconnected thought. If the two things are connected--if, indeed, the first sentence is connected to anything that follows in that paragraph--it is not readily apparent. See if you can tie it in a little better.

I knew from that moment that I was not exceptional at writing--that I would have to work hard for what I wanted. I work my hardest to improve my essays and that, in the long run, will help me work hard to improve other skills that are not as excellent as they could be.

However, once I was older, I realized that my writing skills weren't where I wanted them to be.

Good job!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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