Write a short essay on one of the following topics, recommended length: 250-500 words.
1.The University of Washington seeks to create a community of students richly diverse in cultural backgrounds, experiences, and viewpoints. How Would you contribute to this community?
2.Describe an experience of cultural difference or insensitivity you have had or observed. What did you learn from it?
Any feedback would be appreciated :)
Trying to explain the differences in culture and race to a small child can be a difficult thing to accomplish. Growing up around different ethnicities and customs made me think that diversity was prevalent everywhere. My thoughts were disproven however, as my family moved from Everett to [town] . Leaving behind the variety in society that I had grown accustomed to has left me eager to rejoin a more culturally diverse area.
After relocating to [town], I started to ponder and think about culture, as this new town was completely different from what I was familiarized with. Growing up with a stepfather from the Dominican Republic, and especially being around his parents who had lived there, made me much more accepting of new cultures. This was apparently not the sentiment of the people in [town], since not long after we moved in there was a cross burning on a yard. Of course this happened to one of the few black families that reside in [town]. Seeing such a racist and insensitive event made me acutely aware of the fact that not everyone is open minded enough to accept superficial differences. Going from my old school to the new school was also a strange experience for me, as every single person in my class was white. Compare this to my previous class which was filled with a variety of races from Russian and Asian students to Hispanic and African American students, and you might understand why I thought my new school was odd. Though moving to [town] introduced me to a new culture in a way, I prefer the diversity I grew up with by a long shot.
Had someone tried to explain cultural diversity to me before I moved, I would have been left confused. Leaving behind all the different mixtures of races and customs, with the exception of my family, was what it took to show me how much I enjoyed being around all the various cultures. Being stuck in a town with a scarcity of diversity has left me eager to return to a culturally varied area, for which Seattle will be perfect.
...different from what that with which I was familiar.
Great use of the rhythmic term, "culturally varied." I like it!
Well, this is very well written, but you should do a little more to attend to the part that asks what you will do to contribute to the community. I suggest writing about contributions you will make to the department associated with your chosen major, because people feel inspired when they read the essay of a student very focused on a chosen field of study.
It also will be a good idea to add another sentence to the end of the first paragraph so that the reader will be left with your MAIN MESSAGE to think about while transitioning into paragraph 2.
:-)
