Lack of Culture in our society
I don't know what you mean by this...
Well, you have a lot of ideas, but none of them seem very solid. You are using abstract concepts. If you said something simple, like... politicians are not making it a priority to give adequate funding for education... that would be specific and clear enough.
You have to make one clear claim, and then argue to support it. Then, explain what someone would say if they wanted to argue against you, and explain why your way of thinking is more correct.
You can't deal in abstract concepts, like creativity, culture, etc. Make a strong argument about one specific issue.
Google this: social issues list
:-)