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(culture, language) Tufts Essay: Consider the World Within


rifatmursalin 13 / 36  
Dec 26, 2011   #1
Consider the world within. Taste in music, food, and clothing can make a statement while politics, sports, religion, and ethnicity are often defining attributes. Are you a vegetarian? A poet? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes, Mac or PC? Use the richness of your identity to frame your personal outlook.

Culture- one of the most important things in my life. I have experienced a massive culture shock within weeks after moving to America. Suddenly seeing the sophisticated and luxurious lifestyle in America after witnessing the impecunious lifestyle of Bangladesh for twelve years was a bewildering experience in my life. The mostly liberal views of modern Americans differ drastically from the mostly conservative views of Bangladeshis. It was ironic how I struggled to adjust to the American culture initially, but after adjusting, I had to practice my native culture frequently to ensure it does not get diminished by its' American counterpart. Finding an ideal balance between the two disparate cultures was once distressing to me; however, I realized that I certainly did not have to choose one over the other. I could freely practice two equally delightful cultures at once. I am an American and I am a Bangladeshi.

Language- one of the most enriching things in my life. As a child, I learned Bengali, Arabic, and English alphabets. Learning to read and write three languages concurrently can be overwhelming, especially for someone who did not speak two of the three. I was learning to read 104 letters simultaneously (50 in Bengali, 28 in Arabic, and 26 in English). I was drawn to the scripts of not only my native language Bengali, but also to that of Arabic and English. On my way to America through Dubai and Amsterdam, I precisely realized the importance of language. In Dubai, I was able to communicate vaguely in Arabic; however, in Amsterdam, I was baffled as I spoke no Dutch and my heavily accented English was intolerably incoherent. After realizing the importance of language in an increasing diverse world, I aspired to learn even more languages. I taught myself Hindi by watching Bollywood movies and I took a course in Hebrew this summer. Also, I completed two years of French at school even when it was not required. আমি সত্যিই ভাষা ভালোবাসি. (I really love languages.)

Thanks in advance :-)
inventor1488 2 / 17  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
are you sure the characters will show up on the application? I love them, but many applications only recognize plain text characters.
OP rifatmursalin 13 / 36  
Dec 26, 2011   #3
Any more reviews? Please guys :-)
deremifri 9 / 137  
Dec 26, 2011   #4
OK, here is the thing.
I doubt that it is very smart to put this "even though it was not required". You know, you love languages, so it's only natural that

you take French. Besides, I don't think it is very unusual for High School students to learn for fun.
Moreover, it is your conclusion(kind of), so it shoul be powerful.
2. You should consider to let your first sentence as it was, since it makes the first paragraph related to the second.
3. Do you think you could somehow link these two thoughts? I mean diversity of culture and multiple languages are not that unrelated.
4. You have a great asset: You have taught yourself several languages, so that really shows your love. However, you explain this passion
not good enough. You just say that language is important in a big world, but ask yourself if this is really the reason you love language.

Love has to be something passionate, so it should be an intrinsic motivation.
In addition, you two times realize the importance of language, which is a. redundant, and b. makes it sound technochratic.
Lastly, I don't know if I really understand the prompt, but you should add how culture and language have shaped your outlook on life.

For example, how the diversity you experienced makes you tolerant towards other people, or something like that.

So you really show the "richness of your identity", but if you can just add a little more outlook you can improve this good essay to an outstanding essay,

but just my suggestions.


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