Deadline is in a couple of hours and i need to have this perfected! I really want to get into this school!
Help with content, grammar, transitions, smoothness.
I feel like i can write this to make it more simple and smooth better.. any suggestions?
I'll gladly help in return!
Much of the work that students do at Emerson College is a form of storytelling. If you were to write the story of your life until now, what would you title it and why? Please be brief (100-200 words)
For the past seventeen years, I think the journey also known as my life can be titled into one simple word: cupcake. "Cupcake" fully explains my growth as a person, both literally and metaphorically. Ever since I was a little girl, the colors of icing and the fluffiness of cupcakes used to mesmerize me. As I grew older, I began to learn how to bake and decorate them the same way I used to see them when I was younger. I crave to eat these beautiful creations to satisfy my sweet tooth yet I also crave to create them because the mere process of baking cake and fluffing icing symbolize the kind of person I have grown to be. Seeing the cupcakes for the first time is like realizing and reaching my goals. At first, I am amazed and intrigued. Then, as I grow older, I learn the ingredients I need, the effort required of me, the patience I must practice, and the motivation I need to reach my destination. In the end, I gain personal satisfaction, from personal accomplishments and personal pleasure in my mouth.
Hi Lila!
Your essay is so sweet. ;) It's very well written and works well with the prompt. :) I think the limit given is a bit unjust because you cannot expand your writing to include more concrete details. But I guess you don't need to do that.
My suggestion : reading the title, I expected some vivid imagery as part of your essay's tone. If you could incorporate that it would be really great. :)
But I'm guessing your deadline's up. If you get the chance though, do try to work on this.
Good job, and good luck!
PLEASE, do read both my threads and comment on my essays if possible. I would really appreciate your help. Thanks!!
