Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I am a curious person. I always carefully observe my surroundings and I like the feeling of finding new stuffs and trying new things.
During the trip in London alone, I wanted to discover a real London, a place I had never been to before. I wanted to see its residential life and its different architectural monuments which I would not have seen if I just went to certain famous places. I looked for unique places which may not be famous and were less visited by sightseers, and tried to get a sense of British life in terms of local food and entertainment. Many times as I turned to an unfamiliar road, a brand new world opened to me. I just went ahead and carefully looked for anything appealing to me and as I went further owing to my curiosity, I found a number of places, food, and other things different from what I had seen before. The taste of "fish and chips", the lovely squirrels in Hyde Park, the chimneys on every building, the interlaced subway system, and the numberless cafeterias beside streets ... all these images are imprinted on my memory.
Driven by strong curiosity, I always have a desire of obtaining new and strange things. The moments when I know new knowledge, information or operation principles are always the most impressive time for me.
One of my hobbies when I was a child was to take into pieces for all the things, which can be split, including not only simple electronic toys, but also cameras or even elements of computers. Sometimes, I liked looking for the way it works, too. For example, when I played a toy gun, I was interested in how it shoots bullets very quickly by just pulling the trigger softly. I dissembled the gun into a few parts for finding the method it used. It was so nice to see a series of closely connected movement started from the trigger. After a careful research, I basically understood how it operates, and I was happy about this founding.
As a student who wants to attend an America university for further education, I believe this curious characteristic will help me learn more and gain success easily.
It's my first time to upload my essay. Thanks for helping me edit my essay.
Just like you, English is my second language but I'll try my best :)
First sentence, "...feeling of finding new stuffs and trying new things." I'd say replace "stuffs" & "things" with other vocabulary.
"During the trip in London alone, I wanted to discover a real London," try to reword it.
"..I always have a desire of obtaining new and strange things." I'd recommend replacing the word "things."
"The moments when I know new knowledge" You don't know new knowledge. I'd say "learn" knowledge.
"One of my hobbies when I was a child was to disassembleinto pieces for all the things into pieces, which can be split , not only including simple electronic toys, but also cameras or even elements of computers."
"For example, when I played with a toy gun,"
"I dissembled the gun into a few parts"
I really enjoyed reading your essay. These are only some of humble suggestion :)
The concept is nice and solid, but some lines need re-wording, and definitely use strong vocabulary.
Also maybe adding a quote, or comparing yourself to another person, such as Galileo, and how he observed things and came up with conclusions.
