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"Curious to know all of it." - Essay on choice of CS as a Major for Undergraduate


HellXWar 1 / 2  
Oct 20, 2015   #1
So this is my absolute first draft for the essay on describing why I'm applying for a major, which is Computer Science in my case. I'm an Indian student so have little idea or guidance on how to write essay for admissions so please excuse if the format or something else is wrong. So here it is -

"How do you know all that?" Even I ask sometimes myself, what's so special in me that somehow people think I'm just naturally good at computers? I think the better part of that expertise is a result of my curiosity. When I was curious about how internet worked, I wasn't satisfied reading the books. I published my first simple HTML website at the age of 12. It was great, anyone in the world could see it, but it didn't look quite good. Again, I was curious on how other websites looked so beautiful while mine was so dull. Which then resulted in me learning CSS and Javascript. Now my websites looked great, but again my curiosity kicked in, "My website's static like a photograph, how to make a website which is dynamic like a movie?" which is how I learnt various other computer technologies such as PHP and MySQL.

But it wasn't only about the websites.

My father got me a computer at the age of 10 and taught me how to use the internet. Not many can say that, but internet improved my life a lot. I was not satisfied with the computer classes in the school, but now I could learn it myself on the internet, and so I did. Apart from web development I got into app development, graphic designing and competitive programming. I knew I wasn't the only one with such curiosity and interest, so with my two friends in school I founded a computer club with the school's Computer Department, of which I was appointed as the President for two years. While in the club I managed two Inter School Technology Symposiums with over 300+ participants and published and edited the school's IT bulletin. I've made websites for many friends and even startups, and android apps with over three thousand downloads in the Play Store. But I don't want to stop just here, my curiosity hasn't dwindled a bit, and I know I still don't know all of that."

The essay word limit is 300 words and this is 334, so I obviously need to cut it down. Suggestions and criticism are welcome, and thanks in advance. :)
theninjacrab 4 / 8 4  
Oct 20, 2015   #2
What exactly is the essay topic?

And initial feedback, it's not a bad essay. I'm not sure what exactly the topic is but most of the first paragraph doesn't need to be there. Colleges are looking more for information than fluff, so adding more just for the sake of it being there isn't necessary like it would be on a school assignment. I am willing to help further but I don't know what exactly the topic is honestly.
OP HellXWar 1 / 2  
Oct 21, 2015   #3
The essay is for the major, here's the topic in detail - "Explain your interest in the major you selected. You may describe a related experience you've had to that area of study and/or your future career goals. If you are applying to the Division of General Studies, explain your academic interests and strengths or your future career goals. You may include any majors or areas of study you are currently considering."
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 21, 2015   #4
Nisarg, I agree with Michael at this point. Your essay does not need the first paragraph that you have because it does not really establish how your interest in computers developed. Rather, it talks about how you developed your computer programming skills instead. However, I do not agree that it is not a necessary part of the essay. It just has to be placed in a more relevant portion of the narrative. We can talk about that later. Right now, I want you to concentrate on developing the correct opening paragraph for the essay.

The story about your father buying you a computer and teaching you about the internet, that is the major reason that you developed an interest in computers. So don't put that at the bottom of the essay. Since it is the part of your written work that clearly responds to the prompt, make that your opening statement. However, you do not need to use all of the information you have there. What you have to remove from that paragraph are the lines that deal with your founding a computer club at school, managing the symposiums, and editing the school's IT bulletin. In its place, discuss the progressing interest you developed for computers starting at the age of 12. That is where that story is best suited because it shows the way that your interest in computers continued to become an integral part of your life and education.

It will be most interesting to have you close your statement with the reference to the apps that you have in the Playstore at the moment. It brings the discussion about your related experience and future career goals full circle. Clearly leaving the reviewer with the idea that you are not just an ordinary college student, but a college student who has already began the next phase of his life as a professional simultaneously with your academic career. It looks like those two will go hand in hand very well in your case :-)
OP HellXWar 1 / 2  
Oct 21, 2015   #5
Thank you very much for the reply! I agree a lot with your opinions, you make some really good points. I'll try to rearrange the essay little bit and add and remove the bits you suggested and post again. Thanks again! :D


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