Heavenn07 5 / 13 Dec 30, 2010 #1Is this confusing?Prompt was just why do you want to attend Columbia U.I picture myself sitting in Butler Library after class reading an article in The Blue and White and then delving right into my psychology research paper over cognitive behavioral therapy. In my vision, I begin to think about how much I've learned and grown during my first year at Columbia. Discussing politics after Contemporary Civilization with my peers over New York pizza and analyzing Spanish literature in the language itself with classmates from all across the world are only some of the extraordinary experiences I have had while at Columbia.As I recall my motivation for applying to my absolute dream school, I see that my reasons are similar to why I chose the International Baccalaureate program at my high school. I want to challenge myself and to be immersed in a learning environment in which I could explore my passions fully but also develop new intellectual interests. While I am very attracted to Columbia's rich history, illustrious reputation, and beautiful campus, the primary reason that I would like to attend Columbia is it offers the best education possible. I love the Core Curriculum, history of political and social activism, and incredibly inspirational professors. All of this means the opportunity to have the most meaningful learning experience to me.Is it missing anything/does it make sense?Thanks!
plittplatt11 5 / 29 Dec 30, 2010 #2This promts makes a lot of sense! Good use of specific examples!The discussing politics sentence is a little long..maybe break it up or just shorten it completely!All in all I like it!
etaang 4 / 40 Dec 30, 2010 #4Your first two sentences are filled with awkward clauses (they run-on really long) and should be revised to improve the flow of your essay. That aside, the reasons you stated are all very, very generic; pizza, core curriculum and diversity? Come on.You're definitely a decent writer; you just need to make your essay more concise and earnest.
