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'Cycling Club / Even Better' - University of Rochester Supplements

in0va3 3 / 2  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
This is pretty rough so I'm open to any suggestions. Thanks!

In 125 words or less, please answer the following questions.

Why Rochester? - Rochester students live on campus together but commit to self-direction and self-determination through our curriculum. Independent, confident thinkers who ''play well with others'' thrive here. Show us how this uncommon intersection of traits describes you, and tell us why you would excel at Rochester.

As the President of my school's Cycling Club, I am always reminding myself that what no matter what I will have sole responsibility for my actions. I'm always thinking of topics of interest to discuss with my club and am self-determined to do what I think is right in order for everything to take place. I have always enjoyed working alone but communicating with my club members is also important and is one of the ways to keep my club members connected and lively. I would excel realizing that working independently is always the way to start my own ideas; in addition, I value independence because it allows my inner leadership skills to take command.

Meliora: 'Ever better' - The University's motto, Meliora, directs our focus toward continual improvement through research, understanding, and collaborative efforts. Offer an example from your personal experience of an obstacle you faced or a problem you identified. Describe the actions you took and the result.

An obstacle I faced was when I attempted to grant my school's Cycling Club permission to go for group rides. The situation I dealt with was who I should talk to in order to gain permission to ride bicycles outside of school property. I first discussed this with the advisor of my club and we both started by asking teachers who might know how it worked for the former Cycling Club that was open a few years ago. It turned out my English teacher knew some information of how it used to function and recommended me to the highest authority, the Principal. I conferred with my adviser for him to collaborate with the Principal and I'm now waiting for the Principal to give approval.
Jerlynn 3 / 26  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
Just some suggestions:

"myself that what no matter what"

Do you have to talk about the same topic in both ques? Because I think maybe a different topic to show a little variety?

One thing that comes to my mind for the first ques is that maybe you can talk about how cycling is a solitary activity and then contrast it with your club.

Really appreciate it if you can look at my nyu supp. thanks!
soshifan 2 / 6  
Dec 30, 2011   #3
I think that these two paragraphs need to mention something about U Rochester

No where in the first paragraph is it mentioned. (i would maybe recommend you putting it in the concluding sentence after "I would excel..."

I think you should use another example for the second paragraph because it lacks a result mentioned in the prompt. ("Describe the actions you took and the result.")

Please look at my Cornell supplement. Thanks!

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