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"Daddy, can we together build an airplane in the shape of a teddy bear?" - WashU Engineering essay


audimadeline 1 / -  
Dec 25, 2015   #1
Prompt: What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree? What experiences have you had that draw you to engineering? How do you want to use your engineering degree to make a difference in the world?

"Daddy, can we together build an airplane in the shape of a teddy bear?"

When I was little, I would constantly pester my dad, an aerospace engineer, to let me engage in the projects he brought home, and at times, I would even made imaginative, ridiculous requests. Intrigued by the intricacies of my dad's aircraft wings design, I avidly interrogated my dad: "What is the airfoil made of?" "How can an airplane fly without being pulled down by gravity?" Whenever I showcased my interests, though, he rejected my intended involvement. My dad sobered me down by showing me the corporation's aircraft accident causing tragic casualties due to human errors. "Engineering is never like playing a game, which is you miss it and you can play it again. Engineering is everything closely connected with humans-and their lives."

By the time I was fifteen, my dad felt I was responsible enough to help him establish a database of aircraft components and parts. As my dad's "engineering assistant", I knew thousands of people would be depending on my work; thus I must be extremely resolute and meticulous.

As I examined the "big data" project more profoundly, I felt the growing urge to pick up computer knowledge and skills. I began to explore data processing techniques and programming to accurately update and manage the database. Across time, my insights have expanded beyond transcribing and inputting data. My task encompassed scrutiny of those components' spatial coordinates in order to prevent disparate systems, such as the electronic system and structural one, from conflicting with one another. For this reason, I delved into integrated circuits which constitute avionics. And also for this reason, I researched into electrochemistry to learn galvanic corrosion, to which I must be alert when there were contacts between dissimilar metals. Discrete as these fields might seem, I relish the thrill of mingling diverse possibilities of engineering in perfect harmony. These experiences, challenging but rewarding, have encapsulated my aspiration to study engineering.

However, in every moment I pondered, my thoughts have crystallized into greater heights. Not until I utterly internalized the unwavering importance of quality assurance did I realize why I so desperately want to use engineering to brighten the future for humanity. While making safe and reliable products seems natural and simple, I find how challenging it is to truly achieve precision and dexterity to make a difference, and how important it is to always remain sharp and conscientious. Therefore, just as my recent awareness of developing new Cyber Physical systems, I hope to tackle world's electricity and public health problems with delicate, cutting-edge technology. I could create exquisite software integrated systems in monitoring electricity and energy distribution. I could streamline networks of sensor and control systems in wastewater and sewage treatment to reduce the spread of infectious diseases. I believe by studying electrical engineering and related disciplines, along with a shrewd mind, I can approach closer to the essence of engineering that my dad has long influenced and shaped me.


I want to make sure some parts in my essay are working right. Does my essay read like I attempted to place so many things, terms and separate ideas into an essay? I have made it into one particular experience in an engineering project that I helped my dad in his aircraft design which later fueled my passion for studying engineering. But that long-lasting, single project involved many different fields of engineering I had encountered, such as computer, electrical, and chemical engineering. While I have worked hard to make these different experiences look simple but strong since I want to convey an idea of diversity in engineering, I am worried that I would make the same mistake again of putting too many things. Does my second paragraph look like just a series of actions and steps of my engineering project without soul and meaning? Can you please offer some insights into my problem for me?

WashU engineering scholarship is extremely selective and I believe I need to display some of my "professional" side of engineering to be a competitive applicant.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Dec 26, 2015   #2
Chen, I would suggest that you cut down on the backgrounder for your story. The part about the airplane shaped like a teddy bear and its accompanying discussion is really not as impressive as it may sound. In fact, it is unrealistic to believe that a child of that age would be as keen and interested in Engineering as you portray it in your story. I would rather that you start your essay at the age of fifteen. That is normally the age when the young adult begins to think about their future and are able to positively learn from the influence of their parents. Do not diminish the influence of your father in your choice of career. Just make sure that the influence corresponds to an influential age on your part in order to gain maximum effectiveness.

Try to develop your idea as to how your engineering degree can help you make a difference in the world. That discussion should be more interesting and relevant because this is your opportunity to showcase your dreams for your future career and explain how the degree can help you achieve that. Opt only for one dream as an Engineer instead of multiple ideas. Develop just one in the most interesting manner possible if you wish to make your essay more competitive for the scholarship application. One highly developed idea is better than two under developed ideas.


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