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UT Dallas College Essay for Admission and AES Scholarship


phnguyen0912 1 / 1  
Nov 18, 2017   #1
Prompt: Most students have an identity, an interest, or a talent that defines them in an essential way. Tell us about yourself.

getting the AES scholarship distinction



September of senior year, Mrs. Jacobs, my STEM teacher, assigned the class with an intimidating project: build a robot. It was a long-awaited opportunity I've yearned for ever since my obsession with the brain of technology, the micro-controller, began. Thus, I quickly signed up for electrical and programming subsystems.

After two weeks, I ran toward the mechanical leader and anxiously asked, "How is the robot going?," to which he answered hesitantly, "We probably... won't be able to finish it. It's too hard." I was speechless. One of the many lessons I learned while tinkering with the micro-controller was not to view problems as though they can't be solved, but to look in every corner for solutions. The mechanical group needed hope and support. By instinct, I responded, "I'll have a design for our robot. Give me a few days." I understood that we were rookies, but why stay as amateurs when we have opportunities to be better?

Soon after, I realized that the team needed a leader. Should I? Could I? Although I was motivated, I had no prior knowledge of robot mechanics. However, I was no newbie to this kind of obstacle. I had felt the same uncertainty at the micro-controller and often doubted my ability to understand its complexity, but, through dedication, I turned frustration into passion.

Over the following days, I dedicated all my spare time into learning robot mechanics. 8 A.M.: breakfast cereal and robotics. 12 P.M.: daydream and robotics. 9 P.M.: bed and robotics. After countless of blog tutorials and video lessons, I committed my weekend to designing the robot with maximum concentration. Then, I was ready.

"Class, the robot and documentation should be done for the presentation on Friday next week," said Mrs. Jacobs--a reminder so earth-shattering that it silenced the whole class and replaced the former relaxation of each face with anxiety. After the class broke into its subsystems, I nervously walked to the lab to present my design to the mechanical group. There were the blasting of raps and tappings of the boys' dance steps. Well, here I go. "Hey guys! I have a design that would help!" The boys looked at me skeptically as if they have not seen a girl in a mechanical workshop before. Nevertheless, I began explaining my 3D-assembled design and began assigning individual tasks. The visual that I presented must have been helpful as they immediately followed my instructions. While running around the lab and answering every question that was thrown at me, I suddenly felt a rush of joy and relief. It was as if I was spending time with my new family. If we were strangers before, now we were friends.

Unfortunately, our class did not get first place; we were the runner-up. I thought that everyone would be disappointed by the news. However, I was wrong. One classmate genuinely exclaimed, "It doesn't matter because we had fun!," and everyone agreed. And so was I, as it wasn't an empty loss, but one full of invaluable lessons and friendships.

As I was walking down the school's hallway, a picture immediately caught my eye. It was a picture of me. Underneath was the label: "Team Leader, Mechanical, and Programming." My friends had voted me to be the Engineer of the Six Weeks! The sweet comments below the picture unconditionally catalyzed the formation of tears on the periphery of my eyes. I was touched and grateful. I was happy. Not because of my achievement, but because of the explicit love and family warmth from my friends that exhilarated me.

My passion in micro-controller is not simply a hobby, but a catalyst that has shaped me into becoming a passionate follower, a humble leader, and a dependent friend. It teaches me to be willing to step out of familiarity and face the challenge head on. More importantly, it teaches me to find joy in failure. Lessons that are learned from failure far outweigh those of success.

Please proofread my essay! Please give me as many constructive feedback as possible! Also, do you think that this essay is good enough for getting the distinction AES scholarship from UT Dallas? Thank you so much for your time!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,830 4781  
Nov 18, 2017   #2
@phnguyen0912, this is certainly a highly informative interest and talent combined essay. It shows that you have a leadership ability that comes from your love of the subject and eagerness to learn about the craft. These are all elements that portray you as a potentially viable student for the course. So I have no worries that this essay will accomplish the task that you set it out to accomplish. However, as per your question regarding the AES scholarship, you have to understand that although this essay might be considered as one of the documents for your freshman scholarship application, it is not the only consideration for the grant. Therefore, regardless of the strength of this essay, the granting of your scholarship will be based on other academic, volunteer, and internship factors as well. The stronger your foundation in the course, the better your chances of winning the grant.
OP phnguyen0912 1 / 1  
Nov 22, 2017   #3
Thank you Holt for the amazing feedback! Do you think that this essay could also be used for this prompt: "In approximately 500 words, describe an example of your leadership. Be sure to describe actions and the actions of those around you and to explain what you accomplished." Thank you!


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