Tell us something about yourself or your interests that we wouldn't learn by looking at the rest of your application materials. (While you should still pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, your response is meant as a way for us to get to know you, rather than a formal essay.)
5...6...7...8: four numbers that may appear meaningless, but to a dancer, hold so much value. They're the preparatory counts for turns, leaps, jumps, and kicks, and the final counts of nearly every sequence.
Whether I'm in the privacy of my room or in the presence of a large audience, dance allows me to be myself, candid and genuine. It's something I put more effort and energy into than most anything else because I love the way it makes me feel, both mentally and physically. Every emotion can be expressed through my movements and body language. When I'm feeling weighed down, my movements are minimal and somber; my body slouches and stays close to the ground. When I'm excited, my movements are defined and bold; my eyes become wide-open and bright as I jump and leap to release my energy. When I'm feeling romantic, my movement is sensual and fluid; my face is serious, yet relaxed, and the gentle motion of my arm traces my body as my hips make a slow and steady figure 8 to the beats of Rumba music.
For the three minutes I'm on stage or the hour I'm in dance class, I forget that the rest of the world exists; I forget that I'm being judged because in dance, truly, there is no right or wrong. All my energy's focused on me, the steps, and the music. Dance is about self-expression and interpretation. It allows me to tell my story. Though dance may have a set choreography and a set sequence of steps, it is up to me, as a dancer, to turn these basics into something magical and meaningful.
The current word count is 274 (250 is the maximum). Any feedback/suggestions will be much appreciated! Thanks!
I really like it as it is! If you have to cut something, though, maybe you could take out this sentence: "When I'm feeling romantic, my movement is sensual and fluid; my face is serious, yet relaxed, and the gentle motion of my arm traces my body as my hips make a slow and steady figure 8 to the beats of Rumba music."
Beautiful writing!
I think you're essay is very well written! Your really showed your passion for dance in an interesting way and used good description
as for the word count issue you can probably delete some of the descriptions from your middle paragraph for example:
Whether I'm in the privacy of my room or in the presence of a large audience, dance allows me to be myself, candid and genuine. It's something I put more effort and energy into than most anything else because I love the way it makes me feel, both mentally and physically. Every emotion can be expressed through my movements and body language. When I'm feeling weighed down, my movements are minimal and somber;my body slouches and stays close to the ground. When I'm excited, my movements are defined and bold; my eyes become wide-open and bright as I jump and leap to release my energy. When I'm feeling romantic, my movement is sensual and fluid; my face is serious, yet relaxed, and the gentle motion of my arm traces my body as my hips make a slow and steady figure 8 to the beats of Rumba music.
you may be able to cut down a little more or combine a few sentences
also there are misplaced punctuation marks however on the whole i think it's a well written essay.
goodluck!
wow. this was a great essay! very inspiring as a fellow dancer! :) and to be honest. i dont think you need to worry so closely about word count. they say give yourself 10 characters per word. so that should be 2500 characters. Anything between 2500 and 2600 should be fine I think!
Wow, thank you guys so much for the feedback! Here's my revised version (I really didn't change all that much. Just took out one sentence and added another, and made a few contractions). Let me know what you think.
5...6...7...8: four numbers that may appear meaningless, but to a dancer, hold so much value. They're the preparatory counts for turns, leaps, jumps, and kicks, and the final counts of nearly every sequence.
Whether in the privacy of my room or the presence of a large audience, dance allows me to be myself, candid and genuine. It's something I put more effort and energy into than most anything else because I love the way it makes me feel, both mentally and physically. Every emotion can be expressed through my movements and body language. When I'm feeling down, my movements are minimal and somber. My body slouches and stays close to the ground. When I'm excited, my movements are defined and bold. My eyes become wide, and I jump and leap to release my energy. When I'm feeling flirty, my movements are round and exaggerated. My mind goes into Latin-mode, and I lose control of my hips. Whatever my mood may be, there's a dance that perfectly expresses it - a dance that takes over my entire being.
For the three minutes I'm on stage or the hour I'm in dance class, I forget that the rest of the world exists; I forget that I'm being judged because in dance, truly, there's no right or wrong. All my energy's focused on me, the steps, and the music. Dance is about self-expression and interpretation. It allows me to tell my story. Though there's a set choreography and a set sequence of steps, it's up to me, as a dancer, to turn these basics into something magical and meaningful.
So the new word count is 265, which I think should be fine. However, the characters (with spaces) count is only 1,487... so does that mean I should/can write more?
