This is my first draft so it's a little bumpy. Do you think you get an idea of who I am through what I talk about? Any suggestions are welcomed! Thanks!
Prompt: Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate- and us- get to know you better.
To my roommate,
I'm a stream-of-consciousness writer so get ready for a trip down a winding road.
I hope you brought dancing shoes. If not, no worries. We'll pick up a pair on our first late-night adventure around the city. Oh, and if you can't dance then we'll get along swimmingly because I can't either. That doesn't hinder me from impulsively unleashing my dance moves, though. I won't hold back in public and may embarrass you at times. Honestly, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. Movement is somewhat of a motif in my life and I find dancing very cathartic. I can only hope you will look passed my oddities and join me in what I like to call the derivative of breakdancing.
Aside from my flailing about, I enjoy the relaxation of Friday night in. After depleting all the energy from our bodies and minds we can indulge in a box of Junior Mints and watch a movie. I can be quite the ball of emotions when it comes to chick flicks so don't take my sobbing at Seven Pounds or I am Legend too seriously. Will Smith just gets me every time. I cry at the SPCA commercials as well, so be warned.
Along the lines of emotional expression I'm very verbal. I'm not afraid to cry, or to laugh at outrageous volume, or even to yell when I'm overcome with passion (given the setting be appropriate). I tend to go off on tangents expressing my desire to preserve the natural beauty of our ailing environment. Don't be alarmed, I will settle myself down in a matter of minutes. I'll be optimistic and say you'll adapt to this quickly. Hey, maybe we can save some forests together!
I look forward to our trips up into San Francisco, my favorite city. I hope you're a Giants fan, or it may be harder for us to get along than I expected. I imagine our journey through the next four years will be relative to a trip down Lombard Street; exciting, unpredictable, and memorable in every sense of the word.
I'm so stoked to meet you I can barely stop dancing.
-Meagan
You voice and personality really shows in this essay. You seem very live and joyful yet very thoughtful haha. But I don't know, in my opinion, I would stay away from slangs such as "stoked" just because it is a supplement essay after all, and an admission counselor is going to read it. Besides that, I liked your essay !
Also could you look at my essay as well?
Thank you !
