Prompt: Leadership is a constant theme and emphasis at CMC. In fact, one of the ways we describe CMC students is "Leaders in the Making." Choose someone, fictional or nonfictional, historical or contemporary, whom you consider to be a leader. Suppose you are this person's primary advisor. How would you advise this person and why?
Dear Hamlet,
I know I cannot sympathize with the depth of your afflictions, but as the Danish Prince and the son of a murdered father, you must take action and dethrone your cold-blooded uncle. Life has presented you with many opportunities to be decisive, to be a man of action, but you have failed to capitalize on them. The ghost who appeared before you was your father informing you that his own brother had killed him in his sleep, yet you doubt your metaphysical encounter. So you vowed to find natural proof to justify your vengeance and even after witnessing Claudias' guilty reaction directly, you still have not carried out your father-ordained revenge. My Lord, not only do you have the will, strength, and means to take revenge but you also have a mother stained by your incestuous uncle. Why do you hesitate to act? A king must be ready to act in the face of fate and must not be inhibited by indecision. You cannot allow your incessant questioning of consequence and meaning prevent you from reinstating justice to the Danish Court and honor to your father. Look at Fortinbras. Also a Prince, he did not delay, but rather acted upon hearing news of his father's death. He quickly gathered an army, marched into Denmark, and reclaimed, without any hesitation, the land that is rightfully his. Clear-headed, he remained faithful to both his filial and imperial duty, restoring honor to the Norwegian crown. Look at history. The great Trojan hero Aeneas. Though distracted by a love affair with the Carthegian queen Dido, he subordinated the emotions of his heart to the demands of duty. His fate was at odds with his free will, but he obediently accepted his destined and eventually founded the city of Rome. Are you not motivated to eliminate the person who is responsible for your misery and your madness? Prince Hamlet, you were destined to take back the throne of Denmark from you uncle. By the will of Providence, you escaped your death and miraculously found a way back home. Surrender yourself to your fate and become a man of faith and conviction. There is a divinity that shapes your ends so prepare yourself for whatever God thrusts into your life. Fate has called you to transform from an indecisive doubter to an honorable, resolute man.
Wow, just wow.
This is really great writing.
But you should know, it's "Claudius" not "Claudias." Or at least that's what my version says.
"back the throne of Denmark from your uncle"
Terrific.
That's all I have to say.
As a student of CMC, I can say that this is an ideal essay for admissions. CMC is looking for someone with ambition and the willingness to put oneself out there, even if it means failure. I think your essay hits the nail in proving that point, however, I think you need to work a little more though. You make great historic points, however, the parts where you condemn Hamlet aren't as strong as they can be. You need to fully sell yourself as an ambitious and engaging person.
You can take out a comma here:
but as the Danish Prince and the son of a murdered father you must take action and dethrone your cold-blooded uncle. ---If you read Strunk and White, you'll see why, and you will enjoy that insight about comma use.
Keep verb tense the same: yet you doubted your ...---or maybe this is bad advice... it is not necessary for this verb to be in the past tense, but that is what I would do.
His fate was at odds with his free will, but he obediently accepted his destined destiny? and eventually founded the city of Rome.
Prince Hamlet, you were destined to take back the throne of Denmark from you uncle. --just an idea...
Very cool...
