I need to have this essay proofread for content as well as mechanics.
As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific reasons. What contributions will you make during your time at Lehigh?
As I researched different colleges, I decided to apply to Lehigh because it presents academic rigor in a cordial environment. Lehigh offers a first rate education, but it also drives students to seek their ambitions. I am particularly impressed by the Integrated Business and Engineering program, which offers a brilliant foundation for entrepreneurial initiatives in the field of technology. Lehigh, however, does not encourage cutthroat competition. Instead, it mimics the real world by emphasizing fruitful collaboration. Lehigh also offers opportunities for teams to work on different projects such as the "DARPA Grand Challenge".
While attending Lehigh, I can contribute significantly to the Lehigh community. I realize that the opportunities at Lehigh are endless, and I will take full advantage of them. Having immigrated from India three years ago myself, I can fully perceive the difficulties of international students. I can lead the beacon, helping these individuals adapt to the Lehigh community.
Please let me know if there's any issues with the essay. If it doesn't flow or connect, or if the metaphors i use just suck, feel free to tear me down.
Thanks in advance
Good evening :)
I won't ever "tear you down." :) Constructive criticism, now, that's my forte :)
"As I researched different colleges, I decided to apply to Lehigh because it presents academic rigor in a cordial environment. Lehigh offers a first rate education, but it also drives students to seek their ambitions. I am particularly impressed by the Integrated Business and Engineering program, which offers a brilliant foundation for entrepreneurial initiatives in the field of technology. Lehigh, however, does not encourage cutthroat competition. Instead, it mimics the real world by emphasizing fruitful collaboration. Lehigh also offers opportunities for teams to work on different projects such as the "DARPA Grand Challenge".This shouldn't be enclosed in quotation marks.
