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My daughter is my significant influence


deannah21 1 / 1  
Jun 14, 2012   #1
You would normally hear my mother, father, grandmother, or someone older and wiser in their life or community as a role model to fellow neighborhood friends or strangers. In my case the situation is quite different. My influence in fact is one of the youngest people in my life. Yet, I would like you to know about my daughter who is the person who has most effect and influence on me and through me. Not because of her experience, the things she show me, or neither the things she tell me but because she makes me want to better and be a better person.

I had never considered the possibility that I could ever be foolish or be that girl to have my daughter during high school .just being here for three months she have molded me to become an better, more independent, and more determined person than anyone have ever done. So I am glad I have made a mistake even though my daughter is not a mistake. Despite her young age and background, she is a remorseless person.

I will not be the first nor last to say being a teen mother is not an easy thing to do but it does make you grow up a lot faster. it makes you appreciate more things and people around you. It's like your whole life change the first time you hold them. To want nothing but the best for yourself as well as them. If i ever needed any type of push or motivation to make it through something i could just look in to her big brown eyes and say don't you want the best for her. For your daughter to look up to you making it and being a single mother not depending on nobody or having at least struggles as possible.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 15, 2012   #2
My influence in fact is one of the youngest people in my life.

When you say my influence , it refers to your influence on another person... So you should say;

In fact I am influenced by one of you youngest people in my life.

Interesting :)
viviana15077 7 / 21  
Jun 15, 2012   #3
It is inspiring. You might want to illustrate more on how she inspired you.
1) she have molded me to become an better,... (should be "a" better person)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 15, 2012   #4
, or neither the things she tell me

---------- either or , neither nor
,nor neither the things she tells me


1) she have molded me to become an better,... (should be "a" better person)

----------------- ''an'' comes in front of words that start with vowels (i.e. the words starts with a, e,i, o, u ) for the rest you should have 'a' For example; an apple, a better person

I will not be the first nor last to say that being a teen mother is not an easy thing to dohandle but it does make you grow up a lot faster. ---------- good :)
OP deannah21 1 / 1  
Jun 15, 2012   #5
thank you guys i have rewrote my essay and here it is i have also added an an paragraphs and now i have 481 words and need 500. :

You may have normally heard that mothers, fathers, grandmothers, and the like, are older and wiser people in their lives or community, and therefore, they are viewed as role models to fellow neighborhood friends or strangers. In my case the situation is quite different. In fact I am influenced by one of the youngest person in my life. Yet, I would like you to know about my daughter who is the person who has most effect and be influential on me and through me. Not because of her experience, the things she shows me neither or the things she tells me but because she encourages me to be better in the different aspects of life day by day.

First of all, while attending high school, I became pregnant and thus a statistic. During the time when most high school seniors in my class were preparing for their final days of high school I was going to doctor appointments, preparing for an child, going into labor, and taking care of my daughter when she got here as an single mother. Making school not a first priority but a second so I pushed through it for my daughter.

I had never considered the possibility that I could ever be foolish or be that girl to have my daughter during high school .just being here for three months she have molded me to become an better, more independent, and more determined person than anyone have ever done. So I am glad I have made a mistake even though my daughter is not a mistake. Despite her young age and background, she is a remorseless person. I use to be influenced by my peers by going out to parties, staying out late, and doing things that I just weren't supposed to be doing. But when I saw her face it's like my whole life flashed before me saying you need to change and have to do better. No more bad influences in your life but the greatest influence to make you push forward.

Telling you do something in your life that you would want your daughter to look up to.

I will not be the first nor last to say being a teen mother is not an easy thing to do but it does make you mature a lot faster. It makes you appreciate more things and people around you. It is like your whole life change the first time you hold them. To want nothing but the best for yourself as well as them. If i ever needed any type of push or motivation to make it through something i could just gaze into her big brown eyes and say she deserves nothing but the best from you. For your daughter to look up to you making it and being a single mother not depending on nobody or having at least struggles as possible.


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