My thanks to anyone who reads this :)
I remember that day so clearly, despite being only five years old; the day I first set foot on American soil. It was a day so full of chaos, and confusion, that I am surprised I remember it so well, along with the previous months that had led to it. I remember my apartment in Colombia being bare, void of anything that might make it a home. My parents had sold almost everything we owned. All that was left was a few suitcases full of clothes. Being so young, all this change excited me, and knowing that we were going to ride an airplane only added to that excitement. It felt surreal; I had never had this much excitement in my life! I thought I was in for a treat when I boarded that huge and intimidating machine, but the plane ride felt like an eternity, and it dulled my enthusiasm. I was suddenly not looking forward to this trip. By the time we reached the Miami airport, I was less than thrilled, and all I wanted was to go home. But little did I know that I would never see that little apartment again. This strange place my mother kept calling Florida was now my home. It would be another few years before I understood my parents' decision to migrate from my birthplace, Colombia, to the United States. Colombia is a country where any opportunity is reserved for the rich and privileged, which my family was not. My parents had suffered under that oppression, and did not want the same for their daughters. But they saw shining hope to the north, where they heard marvelous things about equal success for anyone, regardless of their financial standing. And so, not one day goes by that I do not admire this country for everything it is, despite the flaws it might have. I am so grateful to my parents for having made that difficult transition and instilling such a strong sense of determination in me. I know full well the importance of education, and from a young age my goal has always been to make it to college, where even more doors are opened, all leading to success. My mindset has always been to do my best in school because it will decide my future. Now the time has finally come where all my hard work pays off and helps me get into college. I will not see my time in the University of Florida as a time to go to parties and be carefree. Although enjoying oneself is important during those years, the priority must always be to work hard and further your education. I want to challenge myself and push the boundaries of my limits. I want to explore new venues and discover things in unprecedented ways. I want my time in the University of Florida to open my mind to the world and let me become a vessel for all the amazing experiences and it has to show me.
The first sentence is kind of a run-on. I would recommend breaking it into two different ones
Being so young, all this change excited me, and knowing that we were going to ride an airplane only added to that excitement. It felt surreal; I had never had this much excitement in my life!Try using a synonym
very nicely written : )
