I am trying to get into UF and I have written my entrance wssay. The topic is In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service. If anyone could please give me some feedback on what you think about it. Thanks!
The Day My Life Changed Forever
It was near the end of my junior year in high school and I would finally be a senior, the year every student waits for. Suddenly, the middle of February came, things happened and I had to take a test, a pregnancy test! That day changed my life forever. Although, most people at that age would say their life was ruined, but surprisingly not me. I believe things happen for a reason. I said, " It has to be God's plan for me". So I continued going to school the rest of my junior year, and then shortly after the summer break came, I started having complications with my pregnancy and I was unable to go back my senior year.
On August 14, 2005 after four long days of trying to stop it, my son was born at 27 weeks weighing only two pounds and three ounces. He was immediately taken to the NICU unit before I ever got the chance to see him. An hour later I finally got that chance. He was so small, so fragile, but the greatest thing I had ever seen. Time went by and doctors weren't sure if he was going to make it because of him being so early. I knew he was a fighter and he would make it through it. The doctors sent me home that day but of course he had to stay. Every day I went to go see him and spend as much time with him as I could. I was only able to touch him through a round hole in his incubator, but to me that was enough. Finally, when he was a little over a month old, I will never forget the nurse saying, "Would you like to hold your son for the first time". The feeling of excitement was indescribable. I sat there for hours and hours just holding and rocking him.
Then, after two and a half long fighting months in the NICU, he was able to come home. I knew if my son could fight through that and survive, then I would fight for him. I knew I had to make a better life for us and basically being a high school dropout wasn't going to do it. Therefore, I went back to school to get my GED. Once I completed my GED I wanted to go on to college, but then he ended up having an ulcer come up in his eye. Every week we drove back and forth to St. Petersburg to the eye specialist so they could treat his eye. After a year of treatments, the ulcer finally went away and never effected his vision. When he was a little over two years old, he was then diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. Thankfully, it isn't too severe and he can just take medicine when it flares up.
Still, I knew I couldn't give up on what I had to do and those were just little bumps in the road along the way. So in 2008, I enrolled in Everest University for my A.S degree in Criminal Investigations. I strived to maintain good grades and a high GPA. After two years and a few months, I finally graduated Everest with a 3.75 GPA. I had never thought or even planned on going to college until my son was born. I knew then, my life wasn't my life anymore. He was and is my life and what I live for. He is my hero and why I am the person I am today. I will always do my best to be the greatest mother to him that I can be. He has taught me that determination goes along way and to never give up.
Today he is in the second grade and doing great. Although, he does have a reading disability, he doesn't let that get in his way. He may have trouble or it may take longer to do things, but he never gives up. I am pursuing my B.S degree in Psychology because I want to give back and help others like my son has helped me.
I think your essay is great and provides a lot of information as to what type of person and mother you are. You show dedication and love which are two of the most important aspects of achieving goals. My one recommendation would be to possibly add in some statistics for teen moms, that would offer a comparison and show how much you have achieved and fought against.
Although, most people at that age would say their life was ruined, but surprisingly not me.
Although most of others at that age would feel their life was ruined, I , surprisingly, didn't feel it that way.and I was unable to go back my senior year.
....and I was unable to complete my senior year.On August 14, 2005 after four long days of trying to stop it, my son was born at 27 weeks weighing only two pounds and three ounces.
On the 14th August 2005, after four long days of labor, my son was born at the 27th week and the baby weighed only two pounds and three ouncesHe was so small, so fragile, but the greatest thing I had ever seen.
He was so small and fragile, but the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.Time went by and doctors weren't sure if he was going to make it because of him being so early. I knew he was a fighter and he would make it through it.
Time passed by with doctor's having doubts about his condition. However, I was confident that he was a great fighter and he'll make it through.