Hello This is Babson's supplement essay
" Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college:"
Could you take a look and give some advice?
First and foremost, I would like to congratulate both of us in ending an extensive journey and in settling in Babson, a place where we long desired for. This is a genuine complement for our slow but steady progress we made in high school years. Nevertheless, I know, and I am sure that you would know too, that Babson will be the beginning of another journey. We also know that Babson's endlessly green campus will be the nest to nourish our naïve but grand ambitions. As a friend who will spend together the climactic days of youth in Babson, I want to get to each other more.
I am energetic, positive and adventurous. I welcome adventures that contain adversities or experiences in a completely new environment, because the satisfaction that comes from overcoming such obstacles is exhilarating. You would know what I mean by this; which experience do you think will be considered more valuable by the participants: touring Amazon for two hours or living there for a month? Thinking of all the dangers that exist in wild, can you imagine the feeling of the latter after the survival?
Often, I feel like we all live in the thick forests of the Amazon. It seems to be the only place on Earth, besides the society we live in, that retains breathtaking beauty yet breathless hazard. The world we choose to reside in Babson may be similar to that of this wild nature. We may face various troubles and dangers in paths we choose to take. I always dream of a positive and bright future, but I am not too young to believe that it appears without any efforts. Besides, a painless paradise to me does not deserve its worth. However, whatever kinds of Babsonian we decide to be, I am certain of one thing for sure. Babson will always be the wellspring of limitless learning to encourage us to pursue our dreams. It will be Babson where we start off. The school will remind us of the real qualities of learning with the virtues of its integrity, diversity, innovation, collaboration, and excellence, rather than will teach us by the secular judgment of success and failure. I anticipate many opportunities that Babson provides. By imagining how those chances will improve me, my heart pounds fast in excitement. Likewise, I too, desire to stand for Babson's development. I was strongly attracted by its diverse visions, core values and bright intellectuals. Most amazingly, Babson has students to carry out their visions. If I can take part in making such visions come true, its honor will exceed the value of discovering El Dorado.
Dear Roommate. Now we are about to start our new voyage in Babson. We may succeed or fail, but let's not get scared. We just arrived at the first station of the life, waiting for the next bus to come. If you allow me, I want to be a trustful companion to accompany your journey.. I cannot promise to be a perfect roommate, but I can assure you one thing; I will try my best to be a great roommate. I am optimistic and humorous, so at least I will be able to change your tears into laughs when you are gloomy. Well, I certainly can do more and better things than that, but please wait until we see each other in school. I will look forward to seeing you at orientation.
Last, aren't you excited for the days that we will make in Babson? Everything we do, everything we feel will make up the new pages of Babson's history. I am ready for this, how about you?
youth at Babson, I want to get to each other more.
Babson will always be the wellspring of limitless learning to encourage us to pursue our dreams. ----Okay, this is good, but i think after this you have to say specific things instead of poetic/eloquent things. Well, say specific things eloquently.
But it has to get specific...
It will be Babson where we start off. The school will remind us of the real qualities of learning with the virtues of its integrity, diversity, innovation, collaboration, and ... heart pounds fast in excitement. Likewise, I too, desire to stand for Babson's development. ---All this stuff is abstract, and it is better if you get rid of it and start talking about your specific intentions, your plans for the next 12 months, the next 24 months, etc.--- that is the way to be most impressive. Show that you have a serious plan.
I like this part, very clever: Everything we do, everything we feel will make up the new pages of Babson's history. I am ready for this, how about you?