The death of my mentor; Significant Challenge

Explain how you responded to a significant challenge that you have encountered and what you learned in the process. (maximum 200 words)

The moment someone you care about dies is the moment you feel compelled to do something. One of my close friends who worked in a music shop, Erwin Kepert Suarez Carpio, died on December 9, 2013. His death was very unfortunate because not only was he a close friend of mine but he was also my mentor and he was a father of two baby daughters. After I discovered that he had passed away, I was in complete shock and sadness. I would find difficulty in sleeping, anxiety came into play and depression struck me like an arrow into my heart. Erwin taught me many valuable lessons before he passed away, one of the lessons that he taught me was that I had to cope with life no matter what the circumstances are. I will always cherish the memories we had together and despite knowing that I will never see him again in person, I will make sure to see him again in my memories, and make sure that his life is never forgotten. I will rededicate my efforts to live a better life and find new ways to make the world a better place.

The moment when someone you care about dies, is the moment that you feel devastated and lost.
Well.... I feel you do not adequately describe the challenge here... It only talks about your feelings over this loss.... what was the challenge you face with this loss? That is not said here and that is what the admission guys would want to know.

The challenge is that I have to continue on in life without him... How is it not elaborated in my essay? Also, do you recommend I add What I learnt from this dismal event is that whatever happens, life goes on to the conclusion?