Prompt #1 Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I felt like a living recycle bin; passing through halls every weekdays carrying abundant amount of books than possible and going home only to find an empty house. Melancholy was the perfect word for me. Often times, I felt overwhelmed by the pressure society had borne me upon. It aggravated me that it was I, who was given such a disadvantage in this current society. Such thoughts like, if only my family were that prosperous as others surrounding me, if only my family had supported me as that of my friends' family did often came through my mind.
My deceased grandfather was nothing more than an alcoholic who refused to send my father to school; he was violent physically and verbally. Whenever I heard stories about this obnoxious grandfather I once had, I uncontrollably lost my temper, thinking that it was he who made me have such a disadvantaged life: a life with financial headaches, a life that was sometimes discriminated.
It was my eighth grade history class that I first learned the word discrimination, and it was until ninth grade that I first learned that it wasn't only African American people who were discriminated. There was another kind of discrimination I learned in ninth grade than that of discrimination against skin color. It was status, family status.
I had a crush during my freshmen year. One day, he wanted to get a Spanish tutor with me and he asked me if I wanted to get one; my reply was obviously a yes. After I replied with certainty, I had my mother call his mother. If only I am able to rewind time, I would not have asked my mother to call. The moment the call was answered, his mothers' first curiosity was none other than my mothers' occupation. At that time, my mother was a waitress. Lacking education like my father, my mother was not able to find a "respectable" job. Ridiculously enough, after my friends' mother found out about my mothers' occupation, she did not want to get a Spanish tutor with the likes of us. This has been one of the permanent scars I cannot seem to erase; a scar that was not able to heal from time.
Whenever an event like this happens, a hidden sorrow that I had tried to veil from my parents comes to surface; but this sorrow is not necessarily as dreadful, because it is but a reminder to myself. A reminder of what my goal is: becoming a successful woman that my parents could be proud of, an existence that will forever change the platform my future generations will step on.
Instead of feeling like a living recycled bin and pondering on thoughts of what ifs, I have changed the ways I interpret the obstacles that hinder my path. I have interpreted the events like the permanent scar I have received from my crush into a valuable experience; I have altered my thoughts to benefit from such experiences into that of a collection of sticky notes: a friendly reminder to me from God, notifying me to keep in track of this typical game of life.
Prompt #2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Have you ever read the Three little Pigs during your childhood?
This children book is about three little pig brothers who each builds their own home after being "kicked" out of their mothers' shelter. The first pig builds his home with bundles of straws and is left to find out it is no match for the big huffs and puffs the Big Bad Wolf blows, and gets eaten by the wolf. The second pig builds his home with bundles of sticks and soon enough is faced with the same fate as his elder brother. The third pig builds his home with bricks but does not meet the same fate as his elder brothers. So an obvious question comes to mind. Why was it that the pig who built his home with bundles of straws, and the pig who built his home with bundles of sticks were the only ones that were eaten by the Big Bad Wolf?
It could be assumed that to build a home with bundles of sticks and straws for a pig, it will only take around an hour; it could dimly be assumed by how wigwam homes built by Indians takes only around an hour to finish. On the other hand, it could be assumed that to build a home with bricks, it will take days to finish unlike that of straws and sticks due to the vast weight difference. So the point I am trying to get across is, that the reason the third pig did not get eaten was because of its patience and the foundation it built on before a hardship came along its way.
Seeking guidance, I told my pastor one day about my circumstances; I told him how my family is having a financial crisis due to my fathers' unemployment and asked him why God is being so unfair to my family. My pastor replied to me saying that hardship comes to everyone not just me, but the only difference is how that certain individual overcomes it. He stated that it is foundation that individuals build upon and the patience to build that particular base is what aids that individual to overcome the hardship, and directed me to form such foundation for myself; so when hardships like right now comes in the future, that I will not yield to such a force. The Three Little Pigs is a perfect example of this concept because it shows what kind of base the three little individual pigs built its foundation on and the consequences of it.
The combination of The Three Little Pigs and the preaching of foundation and patience by my pastor are my values: the patience and the foundation one builds on before a hardship comes along ones life. These are valuable qualities to me because I am the third pig who built his home with bricks in process. I am diligently building my own independent home, knowing that this patience will craft a proud succeeding life.
Hi. These are my essays for #1/2 for UC Prompt. (rough draft)
Please be specific on what I need to change! I am a bit confused. Because I had two people (my sister and one professional) proofread my essay.. and they didnt like it as much..
So please be specific on what i should focus on, Why my essay isnt so well formatted as UC admins want it to be, etc.. Criticism is NEEDED. (please!)
I love you first essay..it shows depth in your thinking towards life.
but about the second one, I think you write too much one that story. Obviously, we do have read that...so you dont have to retell it.
You must have read the Three little Pigs during your childhood. As I grow up, however, an obvious question comes to mind: why was it that the pig who built his home with bricks was the only one that survived the Big Bad Wolf?
(I think this would be better :P )
I felt like a I was living recycle bin; passing through halls every weekdays carrying abundant amount of books than possible and going home only to find an empty house.
I would use quotes here to designate the word:
"Melancholy" was the perfect word for me.
You have a nice writing style!
Oftentimes , I felt overwhelmed ...
My deceased grandfather was nothing more than ---it might be better for you if you leave out the word deceased when talking badly about him. It's distasteful to speak badly of the deceased, even if you are speaking the truth!
If only I am could rewind time, I would not have asked my mother to call.
...did not want to get a Spanish tutor with the likes of us. ----oh... maybe now that he is older he has a mind of his own and more freedom! Sometimes grownups are stupid!
I like that recycled bin theme!
Capitalize all words in the title: The Three Little Pigs
Both essays have great themes! And you write well...
fathers ' father's unemployment
:-)
