I decided to go back to school ;Admission essay for georgia tech

why did you choose Georgia tech? and how will you contribute to our community? 1000 characters

When I was a child in my country I heard people say my country (Guinea) is the castle water for Africa and it doesn't have electricity. I wondered how water and Electricity is related. To find out, I used to walk 7 miles every Sunday and pay the value of $2.00 to have access to Internet for 15mn. I satisfied my curiosity, I also found more interesting stuff about Electrical engineering since then I decided to be an engineer. Unfortunately there was only one engineering school in the country. And it's for Upper classes. When I came to this country, the first thing I realized is that every body has the same opportunity. You can go to any college if you work for it. Why Georgia tech? Looking at schools, I'm drawn to Georgia Tech's strong engineering curriculum. They have strong academic program. I'm strongly sure with Georgia Tech I will fitful my dream. Another thing I like about Georgia Tech is their undergraduate cooperative education program. They will allow me to combine what I will learn in class with a practical work experience directly related to my academic major. Being an E.E major I'm also interested in Mathematics and computer science, and the Georgia EE program offers elective courses in a wide variety of specialization. Seeking for a PhD in Electrical Engineering I think Georgia tech is the right place with an advanced education. What do I have to offer? One thing, I like is to share, not what I have but what I know. In all my science and math classes I always form study group to help student who are having difficulty understanding the material in the class. Because of that my physics professor who is also my advisor ask me to assist him in his class during recitation. He also recommended me to the CUNY research foundation where I'm working as a peer leader running a class of 25 students each Friday. I volunteered during two semester with the CSTEP program at Hostos by providing tutoring in Math and science to high school who are preparing regents. I'm also a member of the leadership academy and a senator of the student government association at Hostos. Some friends and I created a club named "peer leaders" our purpose is to provide free tutoring services in math on weekends to students who can't make it to the tutoring center during Weekdays. When accepted to Georgia tech I will try to achieve the same thing.

Hello,

You cannot submit this essay as it is. You started off the essay well with a little bit about your background, but it flat-lines from then on. You need to talk about why you want to study engineering and more specifically - why you wish to study engineering at GT. You need to talk about resources/opportunities that you believe GT has that helps you. Never should you ever write negative things about the school you wish to attend in the admissions essay. That is a sure way to get a rejection letter. -Admissions Advice Online

Hope this helps

thank you for your suggestions
here is what i come up with. would you check this one too please

Well...this part really does not answer what your prompt asks.... This prompt does not ask about these details. You need to focus on answering why you wish to study in Georgia Tech. You need to talk about its features and show how they can contribute to your short and long term goals. Also, I wish you if you removed the first line, because it gives a bit negative impression at the very beginning.