'my dedication towards my profession' - Duke University A&S Short Essay

How does it sound? Any suggestions? Be honest! Thanks!

College hunting is like going on a blind date. The only things each party has are basic facts and perhaps a brief meeting with one another. The first introduction I received to Duke was during my time shadowing a local cardiac surgeon. He had attended both Duke's undergraduate and medical school and upon my opening the door to his past education he raved about his experiences there. From this point on my world was surrounded by Duke University. Not only was it the first college I visited, it was the last. I returned after my east coast tour to discover if the fuzzy feelings would return. I was not disappointed. Duke has absolutely everything I am looking for in terms of a university from the top rated academics to the astonishing amount of school spirit. The location in a prime research triangle is an enormous pull for me. While positioned in a college town it can offer numerous unique opportunities pertaining to my future career.

I also know that I will bring a lot to the school from my dedication towards my expected profession to my commitment within the community. Duke has everything I need to strive while being in a position to benefit from the connection. Surgeons are known for being conceited and salary orientated. While I despise those characteristics I know I will not fall victim to them. I always knew I wanted to be a doctor simply to help people feel better but what drew me to the surgical field was the idea of being able to physically fix a problem. I loathe the thought of staying in a place that has abundant amounts of surgeons when there are so many people in the world desperate for help. I plan to join some sort of organization that allows me to assist people who have no opportunity of receiving help elsewhere. I know that Duke is also dedicated to bettering the community which is why our relationship is perfect. This blind date has blossomed into a love on one side; it only awaits a return of affections.

I wouldn't say "I despise those characteristics". Perhaps something less extreme. Also, I think something you may want to talk about is the students at Duke. One of the greatest parts of going to a selective school is all of the great people you meet, talk with, and get inspired from. Please check out my essay!