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I do not want what others want; my definition of success - UC Prompt essay


NOkiaT 4 / 6  
Nov 29, 2008   #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I enjoy seeing celebrities with the obsession to buy the latest designer brand, from the Louis Vuitton handbag to even a Louis Vuitton dog carrier that has a price tag that costs as much as a computer. All of this celebrity spending to buy these "much needed accessories," provides a sense of humor in me.

I enjoy watching television shows and websites based on celebrities. The clothes they wear and the food they eat, all seems to "fascinate" me and the American people. I'm not simply fascinated by celebrities, but rather fascinated by the American people's interest in celebrities. This is what I find humorous. The perfect and care free life that these celebrities live seems to cause obsession in the American people. Living in a city close to Los Angeles, my family and I are aware of the celebrity lifestyle. Unfortunately however, my parents have adopted this idea. That fame, luxury, and fortune that a celebrity has is the very definition of success. I'm not the type of person who would spend my money on a Louis Vuitton dog carrier or try to create an image similar to that of Brad Pitt. I tend to separate myself from this celebrity life.

During the holidays my relatives came to visit. My relatives always loved to visit California and it seems like they to try to imitate the celebrity lifestyle. As I was eating mashed potatoes for dinner, my tall and goofy uncle approaches me, asking a simple question, "what do you wanna be when you grow up?"

I love reading books like the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain and watching shows like A Man Among Wolves on the National Geographic channel. I love educating and challenging myself through sports and everyday school work through my rigorous IB classes. I also adore the opportunity to prove someone wrong. Yet my idea of fun and satisfaction seems to be everything that the celebrity life is not.

Throughout my years of experience and teachings, I have come to the realization that certain people have an innate passion and ambition to strive for a certain goal, despite the fact that it may not follow under societal norms. This very courage and determination that is displayed within these individuals is what I have acquired. The celebrity world I am exposed to and my family member's definition of success, has in a way molded my dreams and aspirations in life. Through my family's and from what I have seen, society's eyes, the idea of success is determined by the amount of money and material things you gain. This idea of success has made me realize that I do not want to live this celebrity lifestyle. That fame and luxury is not what I aspire. I for one believe true success is defined by the amount of education, passion, and experience one gains to contribute to their growth for internal satisfaction. This is what I aspire to acccomplish.

So, as my uncle approaches me and asks "what do you want to do when you grow up?" I will simply give a little chuckle and say, myself.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 30, 2008   #2
All of this celebrity spending to buy these "much needed accessories," appeals to the sense of humor in me.

Hi, you write very well! I think it needs an opening paragraph, though. Rewrite the closing paragraph in different words (brilliant, rhythmic words) and use what you come up with as your opening paragraph. Make sure you chose your words in a way that shows that you are responding to the prompt (i.e. "how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations") You explained that you DON'T want what others want... talk more about YOUR definition of success in a good opening paragraph.

Good Luck!!

:)


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