Here is the question:
Georgia Tech is proud to draw students from around the United States and countries throughout the world. This unique compilation of academic interests, personal backgrounds, and various life experiences creates an exciting and inspiring educational mix. Given your personal background, what would you hope to learn and contribute through becoming part of this sort of campus community?
Essay:
How has the world changed in the last 100 years? Better yet, disregard the first question and ask yourself in what aspect has it not changed? Evolution is a necessary tool if one wants to survive the rigorous stigmas placed upon humanity, exponential change defines the 21st century, and the only way to adapt is through education. I plan on attending one of the leading research institutions in the world, The Georgia Institute of Technology. Once, there I will graduate with a degree in Civil Engineering because an engineer in the 21st century will play an immensely important role in the layout and arrangement of future cities.
Grandiose will not begin to describe the structures inhabiting these metropolitans and any dreams we have now will fall short of our futuristic reality. An undergraduate study in this field will prepare me for constructing and designing new concepts to improve our infrastructures. I hope to become an innovator in the field, and I will strive for vast improvements stipulated by the dynamic growth that will be required since current projections estimate the human population to reach between 8 to 10.5 billion by the year 2050. I will not only be responsible for designing skyscrapers, irrigation system layouts, transportation infrastructure, and community plans but also responsible for building a quality of life. Every morning individuals will awaken in cities that I have designed and will feel safe knowing that the buildings will not crumble, the transportation will be timely, the water will be uncontaminated and the highways will take them to where they desire. As the years progress, time will not effect my work and repairs will be minimal. Of course this is all theoretical and quite difficult to obtain but through education anything is possible. I cannot think of anything I would rather do then studying the profession of my dreams hoping to contribute to a world that has given me so much. Engineering will not only be a career but it will be my passion. I have dreamt of being a civil engineer as long I can recall. As a child I could not help but marvel at the magnificent skylines populating my distant view in New York and now that my dreams are obtainable, I will do nothing less than perfection to make them come true.
Hey there,
I do not feel like you really addressed the prompt. The prompt is basically asking what you hope to learn from the diverse Georgia Tech that you can apply in your future. Also, it is asking how your background can help shape the Georgia Tech community and your future.
All I got from this essay is that you wanna build stuff that do not require a lot of repairs. This doesn't answer the prompt and just tells me about your dreams as a future engineer.
This is how I suggest to format your essay:
First paragraph: Talk about the dreams you had as a child for wanting to be an engineer. You can actually make this part pretty creative by talking about how buildings will not need repairs and make everything sound like a dream world. Also, this creativity will make you stand out because a lot of the other kids applying to this school are probably math and science nerds. You will stand out with your artistry and creativity!!! Win them over this way.
Second paragraph: Talk about your background. I assume you are Latino????? Talk about how being an engineer is well-liked in your culture. You can also talk about how you may not have lots of support for your dreams, etc... Talk about your background and explain why your experiences and gained knowledge from those experiences will make you an asset at Georgia Tech.
Third paragraph: End this essay about how Georgia Tech will help you achieve those dreams. Talk about how you hope to become an innovator and that all of your ideas are theoretical, but make sure that you wit the help of Georgia Tech, your theories will become truth and reality.
I hope this helps and you still have time to get this done. I think you need to just rearrange your essay. Good luck!!!
How has the world changed in the last 100 years? Better yet, disregard the first question and ask yourself in what aspect has it not changed? ---awesome, very interesting!! Get rid of that second question mark, though. That second sentence is not a question.
Evolution is a necessary tool if one wants to survive the rigorous stigmas---stigma? I don't know if stigma is the right word...
I hope to become an innovator in the field, and I will strive for vast improvements stipulated by the dynamic growth that will be required since current projections estimate the human population to reach between 8 to 10.5 billion by the year 2050.---another excellent, powerful sentence.
You write beautifully... how can you be good at mathematics, spacial relations, and the other necessities of engineering if you are such a good writer? I think, though, that you should add a little more to this to show that you are reading articles and books so you can catch up with the latest advancements and innovations. If you wait for college to teach you, you will be reacting, but if you show in this essay that you have been reading books and articles by engineers, you will be being proactive.
:-)
