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(delete "During my years in the *** lab? - how to make it shorter and effective


unjh4545 4 / 11  
Jan 29, 2012   #1
The most important aspect of pharmacy to me is that it portraits my interest in biological science and research. I worked in laboratory of Dr. Pinghua Liu at Boston University from junior year. From then, research became part of my daily routine and I enjoyed the process of learning and applying new information, the day to day activities, and group-dynamic. Working in research has thought me a strong proponent of teamwork and collaboration that take advantage of everyone's strengths.

[i]During my years in the *** lab, my main focus was **** project. I performed various experiments including cell growth, protein purification and activity assay to prove this enzyme truly works as one.[/i] My research experience in past years allowed me to obtain invaluable knowledge by working in a research group at the graduate level. Now, I am more familiar with group dynamics and effective communication, which are, I believe, qualities needed as a good pharmacist. The project was a success and the paper has been accepted to Journal of American Chemical Society and my name is listed as a co-author.

One person suggested me already that I should delete "During my years in the *** lab, (...) this enzyme truly works as one (italic+bold part)" to make these paragraphes more concise and effective.

What do you every one think?? Are there any moderators who can help me with these???

Please help and thanks in advance!!!!
josexirizarryx7 1 / 2  
Jan 29, 2012   #2
"I worked in laboratory of Dr. Pinghua Liu at Boston University from junior year. From then, research became part of my daily routine and I enjoyed the process of learning and applying new information, the day to day activities, and group-dynamic." - You should change it into - " I worked in the laboratory....also if you want to reduce it a little bit change the statement day to day activities into daily activities..there are a few other things you could change to make it shorter while still making it effective..other than that I liked it!
OP unjh4545 4 / 11  
Jan 29, 2012   #3
Hi josexirizarryx7,

Thank you so much for your help! and I am pleased that you liked my essay :)


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