The prompt is: As you may know, dental training can be a rigorous, stressful and rather costly experience. Please tell us about a time you faced a difficult challenge. What was the challenge, how did you approach it, and, based upon your understanding of the nature of dentistry, how might that experience prepare you to succeed in dental school and in the dental profession? (500 or fewer words)
June 1st, 2008. I knew the day would come, but did not expect it to be so soon. The atmosphere was gloomy, a dark evil presence filled the room; it was death. My Dadi- my grandmother- had passed away. I cried remembering the time she walked me to school in the snow. I cried some more remembering how she cared for me. Now, more than a year later, I continue to cry, but by remembering her laughing and smiling, I smile too.
May, 2008. The doctor gave some nods and said, "Her health isn't looking too good. To be prepared, I recommend that you arrange for a funeral home." The words, funeral home, rang in my head, as I desperately tried to control my emotions. Who was I going to talk to when I needed help, who was going to make me her one-of-a-kind gourpapri, who was going to greet me with a smile when I came home from school? I would see her frail face, tilted like it always was, and her smile, and I cried for loss, I cried for myself, and I cried for her. I was not strong enough to bear the pain of her loss, but I had to do something.
My solution: simply ignore her; if I was not close to her, then it would not hurt me. But every morning, with the energy she had left in her frail and bruised body, she would muster the strength to say Pinkesh, mane bathroom layja. Her voice was soft, but it stood out to me even as I pretended I did not hear anything. It was agonizing to see her, but her gentleness made it impossible to avoid her. I realized that ignoring the problem only hurt both of us more; death was inevitable and I had to muster up enough energy to face it. My cruelty was met with my grandma's forgiveness as her last act of giving. I decided that I did not want to spend my life regretting the lost time between us, and so I spent every moment I had loving her.
I carry these lessons with me in all new problems I face. In dentistry, simply ignoring problems such as toothaches only make them build up, until they cannot be ignored any longer. By facing complications when they originate it is easier to overcome them. In dental school too, I understand that the stress and complexities will influence me to ignore my downfalls, but I am certain I will not let them. I will face them, each one with my utmost vigor, and with the lessons I learned, I know I will be able to overcome any complication that arises. Through my experiences with my Dadi, I was able to get from her the gift of perseverance and strength. To be a dentist is my dream, and the obstacles I will overcome to achieve my dream are inevitable, but I am certain that I will be able to overcome them.
I carry these lessons with me in all new problems I face. In dentistry, simply ignoring problems only makes them build up, until they cannot be ignored. By facing complications when they originate it is easier to overcome them. should be the focus of your essay yea?
make it more apparent.
a story of a friend's passing. though nicely worded, focus more on that last part of the prompt. And why the dream/waking intro and ending? Was this ALL a dream?
No it wasn't all a dream, only the first and last paragraph. I agree I didn't focus too much on the prompt itself. Thanks alot for your help. Do you think I should simply eliminate the first and last paragraph, in order to emphasize more on the prompt?
Use quotation marks:
...the strength to say, "Pinkesh, mane bathroom layja."
Use a comma:
...both of us more; death was inevitable, and I had to muster ...
You did not connect this to dentistry in the way they expected. It is a meaningful story, for sure, and very emotive, but you didn't respond to the prompt. Based on your knowledge of dentistry, what is a situation you are likely to face as a dentist that is related to the problem of grief and death, etc? You may have to look into the field of dentistry some more and read about the more challenging aspects of it.
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Good luck!! :-)
