DePaul Essay -- Goals, Challenges, Community, Interests

Hey Everyone!
Thanks so much for looking at my essay and possibly proofreading. I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks again!
Oh and the word limit is 100 words.

Describe a goal you have set for yourself and how you plan to accomplish it. How would you compare your educational interests and goals with other students in your high school?

One day I will establish my own theatre company which will focus on creating educational opportunities for the public. This will take an intense determination and drive, however I believe my commitment to my goals and educational interests will only support my dreams. For example, this fall I wanted to increase my knowledge of the theatre. My efforts resulted in spending days at rehearsals with a local theatre company, helping to direct fellow students in my school's fall play, and volunteering backstage at a professional theatre downtown. I have faith that my dream will become a reality.

Describe a personal challenge you have faced, or a situation in which you or others were treated unfairly. How did you react to the situation and what conclusions did you draw from the experience? Were you able to turn to others for support?

During my sophomore year I was sexually harassed and teased by a fellow classmate. After confronting the boy and confiding with the teacher the harassment died down for awhile. However, he soon started teasing me again. So I found support within my family and friends which resulted in a fierce desire to stand up for what I believed in. I approached the boy again and I firmly told him I would not stand his treatment any more. It took awhile but he slowly backed off. I never thought something like this could happen to me and as a result I realized that even the strongest woman can feel pressured to accept harassment, even me. My skin became thicker after I accepted this fact and found the courage to stand up to my tormentor.

Discuss how involved you have been with your community through volunteer, neighborhood, church or other activities. Describe why community is or is not important to you. Give examples of playing a leadership role in your school or community.

I am an extremely active member of my community. Using my love of theater, I have volunteered with local children's theatre as well as in administration and backstage of professional theatre downtown. At my school I am president not only of the National Thespian's Society but also of Students against Disruptive Decisions and co-president of the Latin Club. Taking an active role in my community and school is very important to me because I believe that by helping out I am not only improving and learning about myself but the community as well.

Think about the interests you have pursued outside of your high school classes (e.g. independently or through a student organization, part-time work, sports, playing in a band, volunteering, etc.) Describe any knowledge or skills you have gained as a result.

A specific interest I have pursued outside my high school classes is my love and interest in Shakespeare. I have taken classes on performing and analyzing his plays and sonnets and I have read everything from Venus and Adonis to Hamlet. As a result I found that my ability to comprehend and analyze literature had risen. I also have a greater appreciation for the ability of words to take on many different meanings. Finally, my interests in other classical and contemporary works of literature have branched to different works.

about prompt 1, make sure you answer the ENTIRE prompt. I don't think you answer the second part of it. also, you mention that you are doing all those activities regarding theater, but you don't describe how you will accomplish it.


four ands :O


vague. What specifically did you learn from THIS experience/situation?

prompt 3. this question is so weird."playing a leadership" it theater terminology :O


prompt 4


you say that you took classes. these were in school or out?


vague. branched to ...what do you mean?

This is really hard. 100words per answer :O short answers ...not essays right? and do you just choose one? or all of them are required?

Thanks. I know, I have to answer every question :/. Every time I tried to answer the question fully I went over the word limit. It's really frustrating, but I'll make the changes.

I can't find many errors... here is one:
A specific interest I have pursued outside my high school classes is my love of and interest in Shakespeare.

Comma for a compound sentence:
I have taken classes on performing and analyzing his plays, and sonnets and I have read...

For the sexual harassment one, you might want to make an observation about the complexity of that kind of dilemma. Your experience may have helped you to realize the way people, especially women, feel pressured to just accept harassment despite the way it undermines their personal power.

Thanks for responding so promptly!

I've worked a bit on the second prompt. Now it's at 133 words. I want to try to cut it down, they said it should be around 100 give or take. Any ideas?

I never thought something like this could happen to me, but when it di d and as a result I realized that even the strongest woman can feel pressured to accept harassment, even me.---as a result would make it sound like something resulted from your never having thought it could happen.