Hindsight is 20/20. What something you'd wish you'd done better?
Depression is a curious disease. You are drowning but you cannot get out. The world still tries to reach you, but you're slowly sinking to the bottom. Your mind gradually becomes asphyxiated as the sunlight fades. You stop laughing with your classmates. You cannot find the motivation to read. You lose pleasure in cooking and singing.
Depression started bringing me down in the spring of 2012 and got at its worse in the fall of 2012. It impacted my friendships, my family, my academics, my work - everything that touched me.
When you do feel something, you dissolve in tears and despair and grief. Laying on the bathroom floor one night, my face blotched and swollen, I realize I had struck bottom. I was losing my family, my grades were dire, my friendships had disintegrated - my life was not what I wanted it to be. Some part of my rational mind realized that if I did not do something quickly, I might never see the light again.
That was a turning point for me and I began to take back control of my life. I recognized that I had to withdraw and take some time off from UVa. I began working 60, 70, 80, even 90 hours a week. It allowed me to save money, but more importantly it was a way to prove myself again after having failed my family, my friends, and myself. Even though my body was constantly working, my mind was given time to reflect.
I realized that without failure I would never fully understand or appreciate success. Overcoming depression has given me greater mental strength and determination as I venture through life. So although I wish I'd performed better academically in 2012, I gained invaluable knowledge that will serve me my entire life. Being able to breath again is invigorating and empowering.