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Describe the influence your hero has had on your life.


roshan1 1 / -  
Dec 20, 2015   #1
Please check my essay and give feedbacks.
250 words limit.

I have always been inspired by the legendary hero- Lionel Messi. He plans ahead, works hard and give the best shot in any situation to achieve victory. Once he suffered from growth deficiency hormone and people thought he could not play anymore but he proved anything can be achieved if intent to do and willingness to learn is there. He is hardworking team player and has helped team to win many different trophies. His sacrifices and hard work have helped him win different individual accolades and be the best player in the world.

Messi is my model for getting the point I want in my life. I see how he approaches his destination and take a similar approach in my life to move ahead. His success inspires me to get my dreams fulfilled and gives me motivation to move ahead. It gives me pleasure watching him playing in the pitch- he often makes my life exciting. His friendly, kind and co-operative qualities are worth copying. Like him, I try my best to get success on every moves. I look myself as determined, hardworking and ready to take any kinds of commitments or challenges. I have realized success needs sweat and sacrifices and am looking forward to the day when I stand as a successful individual like my hero.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Dec 20, 2015   #2
Roshan, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay.

- he could not play anymore but he proved that anything can be achieved
- if you intent to do it and
- the willingness to learn is there.

- Messi is mythe model for getting the point I want in myI look up to, to be what I want to be in life.
-I take a similar approach in my life to move ahead.
- His success inspires me to getfulfill my dreams fulfilled
- It gives me pleasure watching him playing in the pitch- he often
- Like him, I try my best to getderive success on every moves .
- I looksee myself as determined,
- hardworking and ready to take any kinds of commitments orthe challenges ahead .
- I have realized that success needsis coupled with sweat and sacrifices
- and am lookingI look forward to the

There you have it Roshan, as you can see there's a lot of corrections made and most of them is due to missing linking verbs, grammar and sentence construction.

However, there's always room to improve in this aspect, so keep practicing and write more often.
Samuelsam123 12 / 46 20  
Dec 21, 2015   #3
Hello!
I would like to give some suggestions !

He is a hardworking team player
has helped the team
and be the best player in the world.

And therefore earning the best player title in the world

myself as a determined, hardworking and ready to take on any kinds of commitments or challenges person .


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