Hi,guys. This is my essay for Berkeley...I've already spent 10 days on this and this is my 3rd draft...But I still feel that this essay is still far from qualified%>_<%...I could really use your help with grammers and structures...Thanks a million for your time and concern！！
Since childhood, my world was surrounded by maths; the myriad mix of 10 digits was like a magic hand which tightly held a child's heart. Later in middle school, however, I found out that I gained advantage in physics and chemistry with my ascendency in maths. This experience allowed me to brood over the old saying that maths is the foundation of our world and thus formed my simple but thorny goal: I would have an excellent study of mathematics in university and with this foundation I would learn to use it as a tool to help myself succeed in other fields.
My father is a former accountant and my mother is a husbandly housewife so you can see what role maths plays in my family. Since childhood, my parents took great heed cultivating my capability of calculating like daily counting exercises. And I seem to have inherited both dad's persuit in accuracy and mom's sensitivity to numbers. Besides, I also see my mother's tendency to put everything in a perfect order as my inpiration for the persuit of logical mind. So not surprisingly, when I entered primary school my parents immediately found that their son showed great interest in mathematics and soon became dominant in it. And their encouragement and my potential even allowed me to have finished the maths curriculum for junior school students by the end of Junior 1. It was at this time that I began to touch Mathematical Olympiad, and it was also at this time that it compeled me to retrospect my journey in maths and think about where it would lead me.
The study was harsh and demanding, but pressure was better than any other impulse for me. Learning fast and well, I soon realized that thanks to the effective training of Mathematical Olympiad I could easily handle subjects like physics and chemistry which were tighly related to maths. Maths, however, was no longer just a subject to me; it had already become a 'need' which played a significant role in my daily life. Thus, I wanted to continue this passion in university and ultimately see what my pain can do to my future success.
I love math and I'd ever train of Math Olympiad too! I think your essay is very good, although I'm not very good at English, but I think you should tell about how math is good for you not only in academic way. For me math math empower me and make me know one problem has a lot of solutions.
Hope this idea help!
Yeah, thanks TT. I did once seriously brood over this idea but my teacher told me this was how your world influenced you but not how maths influenced you...Anyway, in my second draft which I am currently working on I plan to add some content about it...So can anybody else tell me how they like this idea?
Since childhood, my world was surrounded by math ; the myriad of mix of 10 digits was like a magic hand which tightly held a child's heart.------> very interesting statement aout math. Why was it so satisfying for you? That is interesting...
Commas:
I would have an excellent study of mathematics in university, and with this...
My father is a former accountant, and my mother is a husbandly housewife, so you can see...
You should read online about proper use of commas.
It's beautiful... you write beautifully. I think you should include some more discussion of how you will apply your skill -- more about what kind of professions and courses are exciting for you.
